THE JOURNEY

Josie love's valentines banquet

2012-02-09T18:52:00.000-08:00

I have to say that i giggled so much tonight i have a headache. When I say that this little girl makes me laugh, it is an understatement. Josie's new school has an annual "Kindergarten Valentines Banquet" and it is the REAL DEAL. These kids looked like they were dressed for Easter...FANCY FANCY. (I missed the memo:) I knew it was suppose to be "dressy", but one little boy was wearing a tux! NO JOKE!! I met a few new moms and dads and all of Josie's friends. Every child there knows her by name I think....which TOTALLY makes me smile.

Josie's teacher told me that the other teachers ask her all the time if Josie is ALWAYS smiling like they see her in the hall. She said "I say yes! the child is the happiest child alive!" A friend described her by saying "she has HIS spirit all over her, like she's still in heaven or something." When I took her to Vandy a few days ago the "vitals nurses" fight over who is going to get her when they see her folder. Our IFD nurse said that her doctor (Uncle Wilson) just grins from ear to ear when he knows she is coming. They all say that she is a BRIGHT SPOT in their day.

Okay, I just HAD to post this video of her class singing. Listen real close and when they start saying their letters, you'll hear a delayed voice calling out each letter.....GUESS WHO!?!?! I WAS DYING!!!! She's in the far left corner..i wish it was closer, so you could see her facial expressions.

It's days like today that my body is aching and i cannot wait to lay my head on my pillow. Yet, my heart is SO FULL that i can hardly sleep. I am so thankful for my life here on earth. Each and EVERY SINGLE day I get a little glimpse of heaven. WOW, i am so blessed.

Josie Love/warfare

2012-02-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

if there is ANYTHING that I have learned on this journey called life is that satan is real. He is alive, well, and willing to kill, steal and destroy. satan does not like anyone caring for orphans. plain and simple.

those of you who follow me on facebook or twitter know that Gwen and I went to the Created4Care conference this past weekend. I wont mention that it took us 7 hours to get there instead of 4 1/2, because we were so excited to be together and get away that we headed SOUTH, but on the wrong interstate! hahaha. thankfully, we were not in a time crunch, no one was screaming at us, and we had a FABULOUS time catching up on each others lives:)

The next morning the conference center was packed! it was so exciting to see over 400 women from all over the nation come and "retreat" with other moms that have adopted, in the process of adoption, or contemplating it. Just the numbers alone brought tears to my eyes...OR maybe it was because my throat hurt so bad, I wanted to cry every time I swallowed? Gwen and I left home Thursday night, and by Friday morning i felt as though razor blades were cutting my throat. I was speaking on HIV, 2 panels, and a breakout session on moms that drive a bus (ha) throughout the weekend. How else would satan attack? of course, my throat.

In my mind, I started going through the ways to rebuke satan. we rely on God’s power, not our own. Second, we rebuke in Jesus’ Name, not our own. Third, we protect ourselves with the full armor of God. Fourth, we wage warfare with the sword of the Spirit—the Word of God. scriptures are full ofexamples of spiritual warfare. Revelation 12:7-8, Ephesians 6: 10-18, Matthew 4:1-11....to name a few.

I took tylenol around the clock, and pushed through. On my way home, i tried to stop and get my throat swabbed...no one was in. Monday morning I went straight to the doctor....STREP. started on an antibiotic and on Wednesday I called back, throat still KILLING me and now spitting blood. SOOO, they changed my meds, I am now on the mend after promising my doctor that I would lay on the couch all day today (hence me posting on my blog hahah)

My heart is still heavy from my HIV break out session. The room was FULL. I am SO conflicted on the whole disclosure issue. I pray and ask God to make it clear to me daily, it's all fear, so I will continue to pray for Him to give me peace. There are days when I wish we had not told anyone about Josie being HIV+...the days when I feel my mama bear claws come out in protection for her. But what if I hadnt told? I wouldnt have a platform to encourage and educate, my children wouldnt have been able to watch the MIRACULOUS journey that we have been on from the front row, the emails wouldnt have flowed in telling me the news of hearts being open to adoption for HIV children, my family would have to live with a secret, and if I don't share... the stigma STAYS! (truly, the list goes on and on and on. ) I am praying each day that all of my children will find their identity in CHRIST. Not in what their life holds...what their HEART holds. Check out this video....MIRACULOUS.

THis video shares my heart more than any other video I have ever seen

2012-01-27T06:11:00.000-08:00

tears flowing

2012-01-21T04:51:00.000-08:00

After coming home from Honduras, I had an acquaintance ask me about my trip, which led to more questions about my family, and even more questions about my life in general. Inevitably, the question "what happened in your life to inspire you to adopt and help others the way that you do?" My answer: "I walked alongside a birthmother with my first two adoptions, it wrecked me. my heart ached for those women like it has NEVER ached before. The blinders were removed from my eyes, and I haven't seen life the same since."

I have spoken multiple times on domestic adoption. It TRULY holds half of my heart. I will NEVER be the same. It truly changed my life forever.

Josie has strep throat. She was up earlier than the rest of the crew this morning. As I snuggled up on the couch beside her, with coffee in hand, I opened my laptop and THIS is what I read:

I am a birthmom. I became a birthmom to save my sons life. My fiance put me in the hospital when I was four months pregnant with broken bones and a concussion. I had bruises around my neck from where he tried to strangle me. He told the police he would have killed me. He wanted me dead. I was thrown into a table, into walls, into the floor. While pregnant. With his son. He had no doubt the child was his (he said as much), he just didn't like the fact my doctors appointment took longer (in his mind) than it should have.

This was a man who had custody of two other children from his prior relationship. Full custody.

This was a man when he went to court on domestic violence charges was told by the judge "This is your SIXTH domestic assault charge- perhaps you should CONSIDER anger management classes". No conviction, no charges, just told to CONSIDER anger management classes. I didn't know of the five others before me... I just knew then I wasn't his first, and I wouldn't be his last. I got on a plane the next day and flew to another part of the US.

I placed my son for adoption through a closed adoption to protect my son. He told me at the court hearing that he would see my son taken from me as he had taken his other two. With his history of violence now known to me, I wasn't willing to risk it.

I gave birth thousands of miles from any friends and any family. I placed my son in the arms of his new mother, who I only knew by her first name. I signed the papers, and left the hospital when discharged. I burned all the adoption documents, all the hospital papers, all the hospital mementos, etc just in case he ever managed to track me down. There are no pictures of me with my son. I have no pictures of him. If I close my eyes, I can still remember his face...

I don't know where they are from. I don't know where he is today. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know how he's doing. I don't know if he enjoys fire trucks or police men. I know nothing... as you mentioned, I don't even know if he's alive or not.

I do think of him daily. I do wonder if I made the right decision. The choice I made DOES tear me apart. It still breaks my heart even though it's been close to a decade since I said goodbye...

There are women just like this one ALL over the world. These women are willing to make the MOST sacrificial decision of their life, because their love for their child is so deep.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Joshua 1:5
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

1 Kings 8:57
May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us.

Psalm 94:14
For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.

These are just a few of the verses that remind us that HE will NEVER leave us or forsake us in the bible. I pray that all of the women that are living through circumstances like the one above will cling to these promises so they will not feel alone and despair.

In the meantime, what are YOU doing to love these women through these hard times?

My heart is full

2012-01-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

As I sit in bed tonight and write, my heart is full. I am SO proud of our children. They have worked hard, played hard, and loved well on this trip. They have been so uninhibited. They haven't been fearful. One of them replied "the more dirt that they have on them, the cuter they are!!" They have been hands ON, heart filled, Lovin' with all that they have!

We started our day by organizing all of the food that we bought yesterday. We had everyone do a different job in getting it ready for distribution. it was SO EXCITING! the thought of taking all of this food to people who have NOTHING was so fun. The joy on my children's faces as they packed the bags with rice, beans, vegetables, seasonings, oil, etc....was PRICELESS. It IS truly more blessed to give than receive.

Then came the fun part....DELIVERING the food to the people in Mt Olivos. As we pulled into the village, they gathered chairs and brought them to the new community center that Ty and Rhonda just built. We sang praise and worship songs, Ty encouraged them to stick together and with team work, hard labor, and CHRIST..they could accomplish MUCH. As we passed out the bags to the families, the expression on their faces will be forever imprinted in my mind. The lines on their faces tell a story. A hard life that has been lived. I'm sure parts of their lives are unfathomable to most of us. I am so thankful that God gave me the opportunity to love these people as HE loves them. Strangers to my eyes, but family in my heart.

After we had passed out the food and clothes, they wanted to show us the well when it is turned on. The generator is hooked up twice a day for them to get the clean water that they need. Today, they turned it on, and it started overflowing! 100% PURE water falling from the top of the well like manna straight from heaven. The children started squealing, running around, jumping in it...a true celebration!

On the final and climactic day of the Feast, Jesus took his stand. He cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Rivers of living water will brim and spill out of the depths of anyone who believes in me this way, just as the Scripture says." I feel as though I watched this verse lived out in person today. Our prayer is that this village will come to know Christ through their new homes and clean water.

Filled to the rim....

2012-01-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

Our group consist of Rhonda Wicks and her brother Ty Hasty. (hearts2honduras) Mike and I and our oldest four. Gwen and her oldest two. Diana Couey and Kate Farley, and our sweet Honduran friends Gabrielle, Lola, and Gabbie.

This day has left me completely overwhelmed. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I woke to one of the yummiest cups of coffee...fresh fruit & pancakes...how is that for a third world country?

Our first stop was Mount Olivos village. It was AWESOME to finally see the water well that we helped build. As I looked into the villagers eyes, I could tell that they now have hope. There are 27 families that live in this small village. they went from this:

to this:

Hearts2Honduras is in the process of building a home for each family. Gwen and I cannot wait to get home and help these precious people to have a safe and dependable roof over their heads:) As we were walking through, we noticed a small play area for the children. In the dirt, there were drawings. A line of houses, one after the other. A little girl named Josaline had drawn her dream...the houses that she hopes will be built for her and each of her friends. We asked her which one was hers and she pointed to the house in the middle! It truly was a divine appointment. It confirmed in each of our hearts that these homes HAVE to be built. ( If you would like to donate toward the building of these houses, click on the link above.)

The progress that has been made in a year in this village is amazing. They have built a community center, a tilapia pond,outdoor toilets, and are now building the first house. We left with our hearts full knowing that these people have so much to look forward to.

we headed to the market and loaded up with food to separate tomorrow so that we can give a weeks worth of meals to each family.

we ended our day back at the orphanage. We played soccer, four square, hopscotch, chalk drawings, and handed out candy and homemade bracelets (thanks to MillerAnne). As I left Copprome, my heart felt SO heavy. We pulled away with little faces staring at us through iron bars and tears streaming down my cheeks. Honestly, I got mad. REAL MAD. (I like to think that it was righteous anger.) In one place (the village) they have each other but no food or house. In the other place (the orphanage) they have a nice home and plenty of food but no family. We talked about which one would be worse and we all came to the conclusion that if you have LOVE and a family you can withstand anything because you have each other for support. But to go through life ALONE?!? I do not know that there is anything that could be worse. There will come a day when we will each stand before the Lord. We will have to explain WHY we left these children behind the iron bars of an orphanage. When we had plenty to eat, clothes to wear, & empty rooms in our homes. What will our answer be?

Grace in Honduras

2012-01-13T19:34:00.000-08:00

WOW! this place is beautiful! We left Nashville this morning with snow on the ground and 20 degrees. We arrived this afternoon in Honduras to banana and coconut trees, sunny skies and 85. The people here are really friendly. Our hotel was the first stop. Second, we ate lunch and headed to Copprome Orphanage. Our accountant with 147 Million Orphans (Rhonda Wicks) is the one that led us to Honduras. She has been coming here for about two years and has completely fallen head over heels in love with this country. While meeting with her about 147 business, she has shared with Gwen and I her heart to care for the children in this orphanage and a village named Mt Olivos. She travels here every 6 weeks. SO, Gwen and I started giving her money to bring and feed the children here. She shared with us the desire to put in a well in this village. OF COURSE, we were ALL over that! Last year, Rhonda worked SO hard and raised money for sponsorships, renovations for the orphanage, chickens/coup, water purifiers to name a few things. We were able to help her fund all of these things through the 147 Million Orphans Foundation. Through the holidays, she was sharing with us all that they have accomplished over the last year and we just had to come see! MillerAnne (#4) has yet to go with us on a missions trip. Elijah (#2) has yet to go with Gwen on a missions trip, it is an easy trip....4 1/2 hours..so here we are!

We took a tour of the orphanage and I was in awe of the cleanliness, the huge yard that they have to play in, & the huge kitchen and dining room. As we walked through the sleeping quarters, my heart ached. The beds were lined up side by side. The children here range from 2-19 years old. In the older boys and girls rooms, they have a cabinet beside each bed for their clothes. The teenagers have hung stuff on their walls, pictures are up of Americans that have come to visit. I thought about all of the teenagers here growing into adults. They have a roof over their heads, a clean place to live, food to eat, bible studies to teach them about Christ..andNO Mom or Dad. You would think that as much as I have been around orphans and traveled to serve and love on them that I would grow immune to the heartache that I feel. IT is such a heavy burden on my heart, as I walk and look into each room, I feel as though I cannot breathe. My heart aches so badly. I truly think that I get a SMALL glimpse of the ache that Christ feels for me on a daily basis. Wen I am at home trying to work for 147 and keep up with life with my family, I feel so overwhelmed some days. I come here and SEE....I cannot help but think "what in the HECK have I got going on in my life that is overwhelming?!?!" We are all healthy and we have each other. NO LONELINESS going on in the Mayernick house! WE are overflowing with love.

I am so thankful that I was able to bring Mike, Grace, Michael, Annabelle, and MillerAnne with me this time. Pray with me. Pray that my children SEE that HE is sufficient. Pray that they see the JOY in these peoples eyes when they have NOTHING. Help us to remember when we go home all of the things that we experienced and that they will stay forever etched in our minds.

Tomorrow we will be going into the village. Rhonda says that she has NEVER seen poverty on this scale. We will be able to see the well that now brings these people clean water.

THANKFUL is an understatement. More to come tomorrow:0)

Honduras here we come!!

2012-01-10T18:57:00.001-08:00

I am busy preparing for our trip to Honduras. We leave EARLY Friday, flying to El Pellegro. We are SO EXCITED!! 147 Million Orphans helped fund a well in a small village there. Gwen is taking her two oldest children, and I am taking my "sweets" and my oldest four children (+ two friends). I cant wait for my children to see the progress that we have helped make there. We will also be serving in Copprome childrens home. stay tuned...I plan to blog while we are there unless wifi is just crappy. We return Monday evening! Pray, pray, pray for our families. Satan doesnt like it when Gwen and I prepare for a trip:)

2011

2011-12-31T06:54:00.000-08:00

a day at the park with friends!

wow! muscles!

Turkey feast at school!

duck hunting!

Nina and Frazier brought home Anaya

As I look over the past year, my eyes brim with tears. I have watched the LORD move in a mighty way...in many DIFFERENT ways.

Gwen and I have had front row seats to MULTIPLE children that have come home through 147 Million Orphans. When the work load is heavy and the tasks at hand to keep this thing running feels dauntingly IMPOSSIBLE...the children's eyes that we have seen go from dark to light make it all worth it. Their little hearts going from empty and lonely to full of love make all of the hard work a joy instead of hardship. when its your passion, its not really work after all huh?

I am watching my oldest daughter, Grace (almost 16 years), blossom from an awkward teenager into a young lady. Her heart to care and advocate for the orphans of the world puts a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I cherish my time spent with her. The change in Michaels (13 years) diet (gluten free)has been an adjustment to say the least. It has been a little bit of an emotional roller coaster, but are adjusting and he is handling it great. He is the most loving BIG brother that I have ever seen. He knows when to tumble with the boys and when to hug on Josie Love. Annabelle's (10 years) heart is SO SO tender. The Lord has gifted her with so much compassion that it hurts. I have loved watching her grow and thrive in ANYTHING that she attempts physically. She can blend with the older ones, or lead the younger ones.....what a blessing she is! Where would I be without MillerAnne's (8 years) organizational skills? She gets the job done! IF I go out of town, she gets the little ones ready, lunches made, backpacks packed and waiting by the door for them to grab as they exit. She will definitely run a large company one day! My sweet, tender hearted Joshua is now in kindergarten! He is maturing in so many ways. He would surely die without physical touch. Socially, emotionally, and physically he is thriving! Josie Love(almost 6) is thriving also. Strangers can now understand her speech. Her agility is better than i could have EVER imagined. She ACTS like a school girl. She LOVES the structure and the social side of school. not to mention that her life is MIRACULOUS. And last, but certainly not least, Caleb (4 years). He is trying to transition from mama's baby boy to a BIG boy. His emotions are all over the map, and i am praying for patience each and every day! haha Oh how he fills my heart:)

Mike and I are closer than ever. We rely on each other more than I ever thought possible. For those who think the bond of marriage has anything to do with happiness, it doesn’t. These last few years have not been “happy” each and every day. Some days have been just downright crappy. The honest truth is sometimes just bitter to the taste, we’ve found a new normal…much greater than the cheap and often-temporary emotion of happiness. We have discovered a level of joy and gratitude that has reconstituted our marriage, our family, and us.

What a great feeling. For our hearts to feel SO full, that they are overflowing. To rely on HIM for JOY instead of "happiness" that our time here on earth might or MIGHT NOT bring. A NEW NORMAL...OUR normal, that no one else shares. It creates a bond that can never be severed.

While 2011 has brought some heartache, it has brought MUCH more JOY. I am SO thankful for health and LOVE that only comes from our Father. Happy New Year!!!

2011-12-23T14:29:00.000-08:00

I dont know about ya'll but my house is OOZING with excitement. MillerAnne is sick, so I have been staying home with her while my "sweets" (father/hubby of the year) has been taking everyone else to all of the "festivities!" Some of you saw the pics of Josie Love with Santa on FB. The host of the party sent me pics and said that Josie's interaction with Santa was without doubt the highlight of the party. She rounded the corner and saw Santa and her eyes got as big as saucers! "Santa?!?! Is that you Santa? Are you coming to my house Santa?" when Santa replied "I AM coming to your house!" She started bouncing like Tigger all over the room, squealing, SO EXCITED that Santa was coming to HER house! I sat with tears flowing down my cheeks, while the party came to a halt in amazement at this little girl that was bubbling over with excitement. Caleb and Joshua wouldn't have ANYTHING to do with the white haired man that their sister had very obviously fallen head over heels in love with. Josie's response to Santa....as if to say "really? MY house? why Me?" I couldn't help but think of Mary and how she must have reacted the same way when the angel appeared to her and told her that she would carry the Messiah. Just a normal young girl called to do THE most important thing EVER to happen in the history of our world. WOW. All it takes is saying "yes" to the journey that HE has for you rather than what YOU have planned for you. I pray that in 2012, we ALL say "yes" to his plan for our lives this year...who knows?! you might all end up with a Josie Love:) could we all be so lucky?

Merry Christmas from my home to yours!

Christmas crazies...

2011-12-17T05:35:00.000-08:00

Rejoice on these days when you drag yourself out of bed, feeling sluggish and inadequate. Tell yourself that it is the perfect day to depend on HIM in childlike trust. If you persevere in this dependence as you go through the day, you will discover at bedtime that Joy and Peace have become your companions!

Christmas Ornaments!

2011-12-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

If any of you haven't read my mom's post below about Ugandan adoption and my tree (which gives some background to this post), go check it out!

If you're looking to buy some super cute Christmas ornaments that give back, these make great gifts and fabulous decorations for the tree :-)

These two are 10$ each, and help the McKnight's adoption from Ethiopia. They come in several different funky patterns and colors...love love LOVE mine! They look great on the tree. http://desireemcknight.blogspot.com/p/fundraisers.html

I bought two of the ornaments below and gave one as a gift to my best friend for her tree! We both LOVE them. "These are fully customizable, you pick the country, placement of the heart, fabric choice, and personalization on the back side. Each ornament is filled with coffee beans from Ethiopia and is detailed with handmade paper beads, also from Ethiopia." You can buy one for 15$, or 2 for 25$. They are helping Kim and her family bring home TWO from Ethiopia! http://alittleloveinyourheart.blogspot.com/p/fundraising-shop.html

The two ornaments below are both sold on etsy.com and the money goes to another family adopting from Ethiopia. They sell a ton of awesome ornaments and other trinkets too! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ethiopiadad?ref=seller_info#

Merry Christmas!!!!

Love, Grace

Ugandan Adoption/Merry Christmas!

2011-12-10T03:58:00.000-08:00

Hello blog world! I am still alive...life has been busy lately so social media has taken a backseat....sorry! If you want to follow me on twitter, I am becoming a friend of it because it is fast and easy to empty my thoughts:)

i have had MULTIPLE emails about Uganda adoption. I even received one comment that just asked if I would blog about it, so here it goes...

Uganda is NOT HAGUE approved. There are really no "adoption laws". Sometimes the process runs really smooth, other times it is REALLY rocky. You will either need to travel twice and stay two weeks each time, or go and plan to stay 4-6 weeks.

There are several different ways to adopt from Uganda: 1) There are several agencies in the US that you can go through: LIFELINES and . You call the agency, they send you paperwork, you finish it all, and wait until they match you with a child. 2) google "childrens homes in Uganda," email them, and ask them if they adopt out. The few that I know that DO adopt out are: WELCOME HOME, REDEEMERS HOUSE, SANYU,GOOD SAMARITAN, GOOD SHEPHERDS FOLD, and SONRISE BABIES HOME. You might email and they say that they ARE accepting applications right now, or they might say that they are NOT accepting applications. THey typically only do a certain amount each year and then they close their application process. Some of them have attorneys that they use in country and they walk you through the process. This is how I brought Josie Love home.

There are a few "private adoptions." People that know someone living in Uganda, a child needs a home, and the people living over there get it all done. This is rare, and one of the reasons that Uganda is slowing and might close (in my opinion).

Uganda adoption is NOT for the faint at heart. It is difficult. Many days there is no rhyme or reason to how anything is done. You might get a court date, travel over to attend, and the judge decide he/she doesnt want to work that day and they reschedule you for the next week...YEP! CRAZY! Most countries have a "system" that you follow and you go through the process and bring your child home.....NOT SO MUCH with Uganda.

You will hear "easy" stories, and then there are MULTIPLE families who are LIVING in Uganda for three years in order to bring him/her home. If your paperwork is not written out just perfectly then they can stamp " no" and you are stuck there for three years. It is vital that the attorney that you use knows how the system works.

SO, there it is in a nutshell. there are many children that need a mommy and daddy in Uganda. But, if you are one that needs structure, and KNOW for certain what the process is going to look like......stay away from Uganda. it is HARD. no ifs, and, or buts.

okay, so I am going to brag on my daughter just a little bit. Mike was headed to Wal-mart the other day and Grace asked him to get her a "little Christmas tree" for her room. he looked at her a little perplexed, but came home with a "little tree" under his arm. Later that night we were sitting by the fire and Grace was on the computer just "googling" like crazy. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I am looking for ornaments with a cause..I want to fill my little tree up with ornaments that either help bring a child home, feed a child, or have SOME purpose." WOW. Why havent I thought of that? thinkin' that might be a project to do throughout the year (collecting) so it will be ready for 2013:)

While my stockings are hung and my head is spinning. I am LOVING/feeling overwhelmed/trying to relax and enjoy this CHRISTmas season. Wishing you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2011-11-28T17:46:00.001-08:00

December 1st if you are in the area come on out for our 147 Million Orphans Event

SHOP & SHARE the SPIRIT of Giving @ Christmas

9am-4pm @ HARPETH HILLS CHURCH OF CHRIST

on Old Hickory Blvd

UGANDAN EARRINGS ARE IN ALONG W/ COW HORN EARRINGS ... We have the new FLAG LOVE 1 tee, KISSES FROM KATIE book (sale for bulk buys), new youth tee, the ever so popular HOODIE, new chocolate and red MAYVALL BAGS and so much more !!!

Here is a great chance to buy w/ your heart and help provided FOOD, WATER, AND MEDICINE TO CHILDREN IN NEED ... When you give the gift of 147 to someone they know and understand the needs of orphans ... Our commitment to love them right where they are and show Christ !!!

thankful while exhausted

2011-11-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

While Katie was home we were talking about November being "orphan awareness month". Her response was "there is a month reminding people that there are orphans??!" the look on her face showed that she was SOOOO perplexed. It was a sad reality for me that we have to have a special "Orphan Sunday" for believers to acknowledge all of the orphans in the world.

This past week Facebook and Twitter have been blowing up with "thankfulness." I can't help but think back to my conversation with Katie and think "it has to be a holiday for us to share how thankful that we are?!?"

In my Jesus Calling this week she talks about how we CHOOSE to be thankful. We should choose to be thankful each and every day. EVEN THOUGH each and every day might be difficult. I LOVE the holidays. I LOVE to build a fire, snuggle on the couch, and for each and every one of my little chickens to be gathered in my hen house. BUT, being at home each and every day is HARD. It is exhausting. My kitchen stays a mess from everybody eating constantly, my laundry is overflowing out of my laundry room, and my older ones go to bed WAY late, and my little ones get up WAY early. The holidays leave this mama WEARY.

We don't have to act like it is all bliss. Christ wants it to be hard, so we rely on HIM. In my weariness, I am SO thankful. I wouldn't trade these dark circles under my eyes for a fresh face and wide opened eyes. Most days I CHOOSE to be thankful. Feeling thankful doesn't come easy when my four year old is screaming, I'm giving Josie Love her meds, breaking up arguments between my two middle girls...I CHOOSE to be thankful.

If I give thanks regardless of my feelings, then HE will give me joy regardless of my circumstances. Finding JOY in the hard isnt always easy, it is still JOYFUL, and for THAT I am THANKFUL.

heartbreak

2011-11-06T08:22:00.000-08:00

There have been 3 times in my life that I felt that my heart was truly broken…not just heartache, the kind of pain where I could hardly breathe and I felt as though I was going to die. My heart hurt so bad, that I felt like I would never recover. Domestic adoption opened my heart and eyes to not only a child in need, but the heart of a mother. Through our adoptions I fell in love with my birth moms. I couldn’t help but think about my bio children. I would NEVER give them up. NO WAY, it would be my VERY LAST RESORT. I would have to know WITHOUT doubt, that my children would not survive if I kept them with me. As I looked into their beautiful brown eyes, I saw myself. They were just like me, just dealt a different hand at life. They had no hope, and no one for support. All alone. Their mothers heart was the same. They LOVED deeply. Not only to give their child up…but not knowing where they might end up…in the state system or with a family?

A few years later, JosieLoves birth mom was walking down a red dirt road. I cant help but wonder what she was thinking. Had she recovered from her delivery? How did she know that her child needed medical care? Was it her droopy eyes? Was she so ill that she couldn’t care for her baby? I cannot fathom laying my child on the steps of the hospital steps, walking away from my child, NEVER to see them again. A mother, just like me, SAME mother’s heart. After she left, did her milk come in? Did she have a reminder DAILY of the decision that she made that would FOREVER break her heart? Six years later, is she wondering “did I do the right thing?” is she even still alive? A mother’s heart…just like mine.

I had NO IDEA when we started the paperwork for a domestic adoption 6 years ago, that my life would be WRECKED. My heart would ache more than I ever knew was possible. The scripture Proverbs 24:12 would ring in my ears for the rest of my life. “Once you have seen, you cannot pretend that you do not know. For the Father that knows your every thought, KNOWS that you KNOW! “

How can I not help? How can I not do everything possible to help these birth moms that have NO choice but to give their child away? I HAVE to educate, I HAVE to share what I have seen and how my heart hurts. I have to call on HIM to sustain me and give me grace. I have to realize that not everyone has seen what I have seen.

If I could have one wish, it would be this: I could take my heart out and let every “believer” FEEL what my heart feels. If you could just FEEL and KNOW what I do about Christ’s heart for these widows and orphans. There would NOT be 147 MILLION orphans in the world. You would be WRECKED for the less fortunate the same way that I am and my sweet Savior is.

HELP US pray down the number!

2011-10-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

The past few months have been full of WARFARE. I think Katie coming into town, Tosha bringing Abigail home, and the fact that we have hundreds of families fundraising for their adoptions with their gear has made satan just a little agitated. our team of women at 147 might as well have had targets on our foreheads. WOW! he sure does like to wreak havoc. He attacked Katies body, strep throat and then blisters all in her mouth and tongue....(you think he wanted her to speak while being at home?) The list goes on and on from Tosha getting sick to husbands getting sick...Gwen and I are weary. There was a point today where we both wanted to just crawl back in the bed and pull the covers over our heads!

So, rather than stay in bed...we SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED! we are assuming since you guys read our blogs that you must have a heart for orphans also. We want you to join us in lifting the fatherless up to their HEAVENLY father each and every day.

Call it a campaign, initiative, or project ... The name is not important, but the ACT is ... 147 Million Orphans is launching PRAY DOWN THE NUMBER AT 1:47 PM project Nov. 1st ... It is simply an invitation for us all to join together and allow God to make an impact through prayer for the orphans of the world !!!

This is how it all got started...words from gwen:

Let me tell you how it happened ... I always know when God has a direction for me by the way he delivers the message ... IT SIMPLY POPS IN MY HEAD WITH ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS AND DETAILS ATTACHED ... I know it is ALL him when I have not been thinking of the idea, up late at night trying to figure it out, or even have it on a TO DO list ... IT JUST POPS IN MY HEAD (kinda like my first 147 Million Orphan's shirt for our adoption) ...So the story goes like this ... Emily and I were on the phone talking about the wait for everyone in the adoption process ... We were talking about how the process is a MUST and when delays, road blocks, and mountains come our way that we can not lose hope in the FATHER'S PERFECT PLAN ... And then as soon as I hung up the phone God whispers - PRAY MY DAUGHTER PRAY ... GET ALL YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TO PRAY W/ YOU AT 1:47 pm DAILY ... The orphan crisis is not a quick fix, but a long hard journey with the LORD trusting him and loving his people !!!

SO WE AT 147 ARE ASKING YOU TO COME ALONG SIDE OF US AND HELP US TO ASK OTHERS TO PRAY DOWN THE NUMBER AT 1:47 PM ... where ever you are just stop and lift up orphans to the FATHER - pray for friend's adoptions, pray for the orphan who is hungry, pray the for the orphan that is sick, pray for the families sitting on the fence about adoption, pray for orphan/adoption ministries, pray for those serving orphans, ... WHATEVER GOD LAYS ON YOUR HEART ABOUT THE FATHERLESS - pray pray pray !!!

put in on your calendar, make it an appt. on your phone, write it on your hand, put a sticky note on your mirror or do them all ... LET'S ALL STAND TOGETHER, WATCH OUR FAITH GROW AND THE NUMBER GO DOWN !!!

JOIN OUR FB GROUP

overwhelmed, joyful, and humbled

2011-10-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!!! I AM TOTALLY HUMBLED TO TEARS AT THE PEOPLE ALL OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD WEARING OUR GEAR!!!!

David Platt/Katie Davis

2011-10-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

thanks for all of the gluten free recipes! I'm hoping to make all of your yummy suggestions sometime soon!

My weekend has been filled with Homecoming game, get together for Katie, Homecoming dance, after-party at my house, fundraiser for Katie, a trip to Birmingham, and fall break starting. I was so proud of my daughter Grace. She and a few friends were determined to get up and travel after being up late for Homecoming.( a few pics for you!) We spent Sunday in at David Platt's church because Katie was speaking. Afterwards, we had lunch with his sweet wife Heather. My belief that behind every good man, there is a FABULOUS woman...proved to be true! She is an ANGEL! Gwen and I have been friends with her via Facebook. It was such a blessing for our hearts to weave together another layer of friendship face to face, since we all hold the same love and passion for what life should hold while living here on earth. We are praying her to China as soon as possible to bring her sweet baby home!

You would think as busy and as exhausting as my weekend was that I would walk away depleted. It was just the opposite, while my body is weary, my cup is so full! David's sermon was so challenging. He spoke about our first step being salvation. Our destination being the Father and not heaven. The second step is the HOLY SPIRIT, being filled with Him and me using my gifts for His glory. He explained that the fathers must go first, and the rest of the house will follow. in our society, fathers have lost their way. the abundance of materialism has led to pride, and through pride our minds get clouded of what His will is for us rather than what "we" have accomplished. Our "gifts" become forgotten and ignored and we try to thrive within ourselves instead of how we were made to serve and using our gifts. He then, challenged us to simplify our lives so that we can focus on what HE is calling us to do and BE in life. Is it to increase my giving? calling me to sell something? leading me to sacrifice? serve nearby? serve on the other side of the world? short-term? long- term? ABANDON my life to Him.

I really can't do his sermon justice. His passion is so contagious, I walked out of the sanctuary wanting to sell or give everything I have away. FOR HIS GLORY, so that I might not be clouded with materialism so that I can see my calling and gifts CLEARLY. Katie explained that if you look around at your circumstances, you get TOTALLY overwhelmed with all of the needs. Her goal is to see the ONE that is standing in front of her, help that ONE, then take the next step to see the next person that is in her path. His manna is only good for ONE day, it is ruined by tomorrow. We have no guarantees for the future or the next day, only for TODAY.

Gwen and I fly out Thursday to Arizona for the Together for Adoption conference. Pray for the families that will be there to open their hearts to what God has for each of them and they will be MOVED into action on behalf of the least of these! Pray for our families while we are gone:)

I had multiple people approach me and tell me how much my blog ministers to their heart. It was SUCH a blessing. Thanks for your encouragement!

2011-10-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been a complete whirlwind. With Katie being home, we have tried to fit in as much quality time as possible in between her “jetsetting” from state to state on her book tour. I cannot believe that she will be heading home to Uganda in less than a week. It makes my heart sad for me and happy for her. I cannot wait to see how the surgery heals Grace’s leg. I am going to pray that in NO time, she is running all around the yard with the rest of her sisters. There was a day when I said the same thing about Josie Love…we BELIEVED God for it, and it ALL came to fruition. Because HE is the ULTIMATE healer, and He WILL do what HE says that HE WILL DO!

The past few weeks, I have had my nose in books learning all about “Celiac Disease”. (which is a really scary word for “gluten allergy”) One of my children has been diagnosed with it, so I have had my nose to the grindstone figuring it all out. I am at a really good place. I have learned SO much, and have baked some REALLY YUMMY things! All of my children have jumped on board and helped with this new journey that we are on. On Tuesday and Thursdays Caleb and I turn into “Betty Crocker” and “the Pillsbury dough boy” except that we do not use any of their “boxed items”..it is mostly from scratch. I have found some really good “baking mixtures” that make DELICIOUS cookies, brownies, cakes, etc…so I am thankful. I have always cooked dinner. Through the years, depending on the season of preschoolers, about three times a week. I had forgotten how much better food tastes when it is made from scratch. I turn on my worship music, get out my sifter and I am unstoppable!!! I had forgotten how much I REALLY enjoy baking. Maybe what I thought to be a nightmare, Is going to be a blessing? It made my heart sing when all of my children were eating my chicken wings tonight…ooohing and aaahing at how yummy they were. (Just a homemade bbq sauce that I whipped up...no biggie! Hahahha) I won’t mention that before they started eating, I told them that the first one that complained about my dinner was going STRAIGHT TO A BATH AND BED and if they didn’t believe me…JUST TRY ME!!!

It’s the little reminders that God gives us to remind us how much HE loves us... when they kiss you each night before bed and say “I love you Mommy!” The beautiful trees that look as though they have been hand painted all different colors this time of year. But, it’s also the BIG reminders when you bake for 5 hours straight that they are TRULY blessings. Little treasured gifts that God hand picked especially for me so that I can giggle during the day. What would our world be like without a childs laughter? WOW! We are truly blessed.

If any of you have a gluten free recipe that you think is a “MUST HAVE” for me, send it my way!

SUCH a SWEET SWEET blessing....

2011-10-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

It has been such a blessing to have Katie home. The look on her face as Josie ran towards her car the first day that she drove up was priceless. I had forgotten that it had been a year since she had seen Josie Love....wow how time flies.

Her time here has been a frenzie of media phone calls, interviews, speaking engagements, and people approaching her and standing with their mouth open....quite comical actually. She looks around trying to figure out what is going on!

We had FABULOUS fall gear party on Tuesday. We celebrated Katie's book, her heart to serve by faith each and every day, and that God brought us together to do our part in loving "the least of these"

Josie helping Katie sign her books!

showing Auntie Kate how she can write her name :)

As I read through Katie's book, I was reminded of my time in Uganda while trying to bring Josie Love home. The other night, we were out together eating yogurt and I asked her all about it. I can't remember if I cried a lot. I can't remember a lot of the details. We had a really neat conversation about the heart wrenching/tears of joys/mind boggling moments that we had during that time. I don't think I even realized how much I had blocked out. Isn't it funny how the things that cause the most pain in life...become your biggest passion. think about it... if you are a cancer survivor, you become passionate about bringing awareness to finding a cure. Diabetes, MS, CP, the list goes on and on. People spending time and energy in his/her passion trying to bring awareness to the very thing that ROCKED them to the core at some pint in his/her life.

I had several people mention how weary I must be at the book signing/sale the other day. And I AM TIRED, but when it is your passion, it is not work. I often wish that I could just take my heart out of my chest and give it to someone else for awhile, to let others feel what I feel when it comes to the fatherless and children that have HIV/AIDS. My blood rushes through my veins with an ache to educate, encourage, and enable! Just one little taste of it, and you would NEVER go back:)

2011-10-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

147 Million Orphans FALL EVENT !!!

Story of my Life by Oatsvall Team

KISSES FROM KATIE by Katie Davis will be released on Oct. 4th and you can get your copy at our 147 Million Orphans Event on the 4TH FROM 10AM-7PM in the BACK BARN of Fellowship Bible Church in Franklin, TN ... Help us spread the word, bring a friend, and come check out the NEW 147 fall gear ... We are emptying out the warehouse and bringing out all the gear !!!

Uganda Necklaces, New 147 Tees, 147 Men's Nike Golf Shirt, cuffs, water bottles, 147 fall hoodie, youth tees, RED MAYVALL BAG, and so much more !!!

SHOP AND SHARE THE GIFT OF HOPE !!!

50% of the profits will be given to Amazima (Katie's ministry in Uganda)

IF YOU CAN'T JOIN US YOU CAN STILL ORDER THE BOOK AND OTHER 147 ITEMS ON-LINE AT 147MILLIONORPHANS.COM

spiritual warfare

2011-09-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Scripture speaks of the war that is going on in the heavenly realm. It wasn't until I entered the adoption world that I actually FELT warfare SIGNIFICANTLY. The past few weeks have been a battle each and every day. Gwen and I have been under attack more than ever. We have had our nose to the grindstone, dealing with all of the issues that have been affecting our children. I have had three children wheezing, taking breathing treatments every three hours, one with strep throat, one with a double ear infection, one with pain in his heel to where he can barely walk and pink eye. Gwen has one with a hurt growth plate in his hip, one with her eye ducts clogged (oozing yuck), doctors appointments for Joseph/trying to figure out exactly what his issues might be, a husband that was sick for several weeks, Maggie still healing from surgeries, and now one that is throwing up! yep! SATAN at his finest! When you are going through day to day LIFE, it's hard to take time to look on the outside and really SEE what is happening. Gwen and I were together at a 147 event last night and starting talking through what the past few weeks have held...it was so good to just call it as it is: SATAN.

With 147 Million Orphans we have 132 people fundraising. Tosha is in Uganda bringing Abigail home soon, and I am walking with 8-9 couples through the adoption process right now. He HATES this. I will NOT be defeated. I serve a MIGHTY God who will fight on my behalf and give me the strength to make it through each and every day:)

I grew up in a small town in Tennessee. Adoption is not at the forefront of peoples minds in this town. When Gwen and I started 147, one of my high school friends, Renee Click, started selling beads in this small town. It was such a blessing to watch her sell beads day after day. Her husband was NOT on board to adopt, so she was just doing "her part" in caring for the "least of these." She got so excited when a new shipment would arrive. After a few months, Gwen and I shook our heads, we just knew that she had sold a set of beads to EVERY person in the town...she had sold THOUSANDS...not hundreds...THOUSANDS of beads! Her husband works in Nashville, so he would drop by Gwen's and pick up the beads when she ran out. Little did we know that God was moving his heart and her children's hearts by her selling Ugandan magazine beads! Gwen and I prayed fervently that their hearts would be open to adoption (sorry Tony!) and slowly but surely, Tony opened his heart to the journey that God has set for them as a family. Renee has three children (Blaine, Connor, and Allie...PRECIOUS children who have been transformed and have such HEARTS for the orphan.) Tony surprised Renee at Christmas and told her that he was ready to do paperwork and go to China to bring home their little girl....How precious is she?!! Meet Emery....

NOW THAT IS KINGDOM WORK!! who would ever think that selling beads would move a family to bring home a baby? We serve a MIGHTY GOD folks! WE get so busy "doing life" that we forget JUST how MIGHT HE is!! He created this earth, and ME and YOU. AND this precious little child is a perfect little angel that HE created. AND now, she has a mommy and a daddy and a sister and two BIG brothers..WOW!! HE IS THE I AM!!

2011-09-14T17:26:00.000-07:00

Tosha made it to Uganda!!!

2011-09-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

To follow my sweet friend, Tosha, on her journey to bring Abigail home....click here.

God is doing some BIG things in the adoption world right now....cannot wait to share:)

the Holy Spirit..

2011-09-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

Wow....I cannot believe how long it has been since I have blogged. Getting everybody out the door and picked up from school each day has wreaked havoc on me!

I have such a mixture of emotions as I write today. I have been walking the adoption journey with several of my friends the past year and right at this moment….it is all coming to fruition!! Some of you might remember my 40^th birthday present from Gwen…the funds to help Tosha bring Abigail home. Tosha is on a plane RIGHT NOW to Uganda!! She has never traveled internationally. She is an emotional MESS!! Thankfully, her sweet husband (mike) and her daughter (Kenzie) are with her. I will be posting throughout the next few weeks so that you can follow her story in Uganda via blog world…SO EXCITING!!!!

Another one of my closest friends is in the process of a domestic adoption. She and her husband have been on this journey for awhile now. They have had one disruption, and the journey has just been ROCKY. They received the call Thursday that their birth mom was having contractions 3 minutes apart and to jump on a plane! They made it in time, and their little angel is here and healthy. NOW, the hard part is that my friend is “rooming in” at the hospital with the birth mom, caring for this child, and giving the birth mom the emotional support that is needed. This is, without doubt, one of the hardest 48 hours that she has ever experienced. With domestic, family seems to always come out of nowhere and claim to want to help keep the baby. The birth mom (who has been alone the entire pregnancy and never feels love and support from her family) is so torn with what SHE wants and desires and KNOWS that she can’t handle (a child) but longs for the approval of her mom….its just a nightmare. Moment by moment, you are falling in love with a baby, and the THOUGHT of that child going to a place where he/she will not be loved and cared for breaks your heart IN HALF. Yet, you sit and wait. You wait for time to pass, trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus to this woman who might do the most UNSELFISH act on earth…OR NOT because of pressure from family.

My heart is broken, anxious, excited, and angry. I am feeling all of the emotions that I know my sweet friend is living right now.

I have another friend that contacted one of the orphanages that Gwen and I visited in Uganda. She got matched with two little boys!! We were SO excited!! Then, they contacted her and said that one of the boys had a biological sister that they just learned about. She was at a crossroad. What does one do? She already had names, and two faces of two little boys that were hers. Does she leave one of the little boys behind so that the biological siblings can stay together? Tears, heartbreak, anxiousness, fear….all creep in. She and her husband have decided to bring all three home!! How fun/crazy/radical is that? They are going from 3 kids to 6 over night!! I love it!! Will it be hard…yes. Will it be exhausting…yes. Will she feel the presence of God more than ever…yes!!

There are four more families heading to China over the next year in our school. We have 134 families fundraising with 147 Million Orphan gear right now. The Holy Spirit is MOVING. He is doing things on behalf of the orphan more than EVER. It makes my heart WHOLE. It makes me want to stand on a mountain top and scream to HIM….THANK YOU!! THANK YOU for allowing me a GLIMPSE of the joy that you feel from all of this!

What I LOVE about all of these scenarios is that the HOLY SPIRIT is at work. As believers, we can pack our brains FULL of knowledge about Christ, scriptures, and biblical truths. We can stand on them, rely on them, and use them as confirmation to strengthen our spiritual walk….but if the HOLY SPIRIT is not there…we are MISSING IT!! We need to FEEL HIS presence to know that HE is walking alongside us as we travel to Uganda or China. We need to KNOW and FEEL him sitting right beside us in that hospital room, while we love on a birth mom who is broken from the inside out. We have to KNOW that all THREE of those children waiting at an orphanage in Uganda belong to us and we can’t leave one behind. We have to feel the PRESENCE of our ALMIGHTY SAVIOR to have the peace in our hearts that only HE can give.

Without the HOLY SPIRIT we operate in our own strength and can only accomplish and live out human-size results. When believers walk through life guided by the HOLY SPIRIT, the evidence in their lives is supernatural. I am seeing it FIRST HAND…spirit guided adoption journeys and it is blessing me deep, deep in the depths of my soul. The HOLY SPIRIT is VITAl to live as a true believer today. When HE moves, NOTHING can stop him!! If He doesn’t move, we will not produce fruit, no matter how much effort or money we spend.

In Acts 4:13, it says “now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.” Let’s live wrecklessly! Let’s live so that when others view our lives they are blinded by the Holy Spirit.

WOOOHOOO!!! Come on!!! Let’s do this thing!!!

thankful...

2011-09-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

The past few times that I have seen Gwen, we have giggled most of the time. We have had several meetings where we literally giggled our way through them. We decided at the end of our last meeting that we have reached our point of delirium. THEN, we laughed at the thought of our lives being so crazy that all we can do is laugh. DELIRIUM for SURE! I am so glad that we have learned to laugh instead of cry. WITHOUT doubt, it is joy straight from my sweet Savior.

My children have just had their first full week of school. I have spent the whole week just trying to catch up on everything that I set aside this summer while they were home. This week has brought two REALLY tired kindergarteners, a LOT of whining, 7 REALLY hungry children papers to sign, laundry to wash, homework to be done, soccer/football/piano/cheerleading practices to attend, and the list goes on.....

The conversations amongst my children just make me smile. The comparisons of how a teacher has changed from year to year, who is dating who, how much taller he/she is, who they played with on the playground. We have some MAJOR sibling rivalry that goes on in my house. We have learned to talk it out, and so far, it has seemed fairly healthy. It gives us the chance to talk about our differences and how God created each of us with different strengths/weaknesses. When I get frustrated, I try to stop and think about how boring it would be if we were all the same....B.O.R.I.N.G!!

I have noticed my children saying "i love you" to each other more than ever. My son, Michael, tells his youngest brothers/sister at least five times a day that he loves them. Tonight, when Michael was going to bed, Grace said " i love you Michael" Just this past week, I have heard MillerAnne and Annabelle tell the little ones several times " i love you!" It makes my heart happy. It makes me feel like all of my exhaustion isn't completely in vain. In the middle of all of the discipline, I feel as though that these three simple words are my affirmation that my children ARE getting it.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Each time I fix a "booboo", put lotion on Josie, help her get her clothes on, etc..she tells me EVERY TIME..."I love you mommy." Isn't it funny how she associates me caring for her without me saying a word that I love her? That is the way we were created. What if you NEVER heard those three little words? How empty would your heart feel? How much would you LONG to hear and feel the love from another?

Today I am thankful. SO thankful for those three words that Mike speaks to me each and EVERY night before we fall asleep. Thankful that God has filled my bedrooms upstairs with children. More than anything, I am thankful that love grows. If there are more people to share it, the more it grows. I am watching it spread all over my home and it does a mama's heart good:)

memories

2011-08-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

Katie is one of Josie's favorite people of all times! look at her little had on her cheek...

When we went to get Josie to bring her home....after Josie's first bath, at katie's house...so glad to have her with us:)

WOW! look how young we all were!! It's amazing how adding 8 kids (between us) adds wrinkles around the eyes these days!

first trip to visit Katie three years ago

Katie kissing her girls goodbye as they left to go to school...

Katie singing a celine deion song into the microphone!! Ugandan radio LOVES celine!!

Katie teaching my nephew (Landon) how to kill a chicken!

Mike and I have been sitting in the den talking about our meeting at Josie Love's school today. We left VERY encouraged. Mike had his ipad, so he pulled up a couple of pics of Josie when we went to Uganda to bring her home. The room filled with gasps and tear filled eyes as we talked about the difference in the pictures and the bright eyed little girl that walks down their halls each day. We talked about her being stubborn, and how her "survivor" mentality is probably the reason that she is alive today. She is continuing to thrive and winning peoples hearts with her infectious smile each and every day. (makes a mama's heart happpy!!)

While talking to Mike, we were reminiscing about how Gwen and I read Katie's blog, then we met her for ice cream one night, started doing fundraisers for her at my house several times a week..ADAMANT that we were going to spread her story so that she could fund her sponsorship program. INSTANTLY the Lord connected our hearts, and we have spent countless hours working out, laughing, crying, eating POUNDS of chocolate cake (sinful actually), raising children together, and now promoting her book.....REALLY?! promoting her book?!?! how did THAT happen? Can someone say surreal? Is she really coming to the US in October for a book tour? I can't help but giggle. The Lord has used her in such a mighty way in my families life...why not others?

I love that she gets overwhelmed in a grocery store when she comes home.....she says that there are ENTIRELY too many choices! I love that way that when we go out and people see her their eyes well up with tears and she looks around at me and Gwen TOTALLY perplexed and says "you americans are weird!!" She really has NO IDEA how Christ is using her on this side of the ocean. She's just living over there doing "her thing" while people over here read her words/heart and INSTANTLY think...."how can I help? what can I do? what is my part?!?"

So, here I am...promoting my sweet friend's book. my heart is FULL. I am So proud of the young woman that she has become right before my very eyes! You can go to 147 million orphans and pre-order. we will be sending 50% of the profits back to katie...AMAZIMA MINISTRIES. It will make a GREAT gift for Christmas!

2011-08-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

KATIE'S BOOK WILL BE RELEASED IN OCT. AND 147 Million Orphans WILL BE SELLING IT!

Oh how I miss my sweet friend! As I was looking through my pics to post this, my heart ached to just be with her and talk. I cannot wait for her to come home and go to Josie's school with me. She has prayed for Josie Love her ENTIRE life. Her hearts desire for Josie to flourish is totally coming to fruition! Gwen I are so excited that 147 Million Orphans will be selling Katie's new book KISSES FROM KATIE that will be released in October ... It's finally , actually going to happen! She has spent countless hours with the publisher/editors. I cannot wait for her passion/love for Christ to shine through her life in Uganda. 50% of the profits will be given back to AMAZIMA Minisitries ... Please help us spread the great news and direct people to our site for the book ...

Josie's first day of school

2011-08-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

I awoke at 5:30 this morning to have some alone time with God. I read my Jesus Calling, and prayed that HE would just give my heart peace, turn off the tears, and help me put my "big girl" pants on! It was a sweet time to sip my coffee and my heart to be affirmed that he loves this little angel SO much more than I can fathom. I know this is just the beginning of many changes. I also know that at times I feel that I am in the refiner's fire, only to see shiny gold in the end!

Just thought I'd give you a glimpse of Josie Love's first day...look how excited she is!! I stand amazed at how independent she is. Her teacher seems SO sweet. When I picked her up, they affirmed me that she had a GREAT day. She walked in a straight line to lunch, sat in her chair during work time, and had a blast on the playground. He is SO sovereign. OVER and OVER and OVER again!!

perseverance

2011-08-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3

I havent posted for the past few weeks because I have been at a loss for words. My prayer this morning was "Lord, can I PLEASE just live in my comfort zone for one week?...please?" I couldn't help but chuckle as the words leaked from my lips. Comfort zone? I don't even really know what the definition of those words mean anymore. For five years, since our first adoption, I feel as though I live in a foreign land.

Will there ever be a time while I am sitting at Vanderbilt and see "infectious disease" on the door that I don't think..."how did I end up here?" Its been two years, and I still shake my head in wonderment. I saw Mike walking down the sidewalk the other with all of my children a few steps behind and I had one of those "AHA" moments of ....I know that's my husband but who are all of those kids following him?!!? They are all different colors and who is the little one in the pom pom's stopping to hug and talk to every stranger that passes?"

My hope was that I could blog about how fabulous Josie entering school had been. While she has her first day this Friday, satan has had a field day with the preparation of her starting. All of her testing information has yet to be sent to her school. I wonder at what point am I going to think ....."this is just the norm" but I continue to be shocked over and over by peoples responses, the look in the eyes, the bewilderment that GLOWS form their faces. After the first few times of calling Mike in tears after leaving the school, we decided that he would go with me from now on. My heart breaks IN HALF for my sweet little angel that God views as PERFECT, and in the worlds eyes she is far from that.

I cant help but think of Jesus and Judas at the passover. When Jesus explained that He would be denied and all of the disciples were shocked. Jesus KNEW it, He even TOLD them that it was going to happen, but in the end, HE was still hurt, heartbroken, and felt abandoned. I KNOW that my family is going to feel those feelings each time we walk into a new situation. I even explain to my children how it is going to feel. Yet, each time that it happens....I feel hurt, heartbroken, and abandoned. I am so thankful that I have my sweet Jesus to cling. He is CONSTANT, EVER PRESENT, and just what I need in my brokenness.

I had a revelation the other day, that was NO doubt God's whisper in my ear. The school that we have attended for 10 years has watched us grow from 2 children to 7. They have seen the transformation in our lives. While some still deem us "radical" it has become quit normal to see our family around....not to mention that there are 10 children from Jinja,Uganda with 5 more coming....at our school. It has become quite the norm. At Josie's new school, we are a little freaky looking walking down the halls! haha In time, people will get use to our family. (hopefully). My prayer is that they will see HIM and not us.

At the end of the day, I will continue to whisper...."YOUR will not mine, YOUR will not mine, YOUR will not mine!"

Josie and Joshua starting kindergarten...my heart

2011-08-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

Summer is dwindling and it is time for us to have some significant structure back in our lives. My children have been fabulous all summer and the past few days they have been fighting. IT IS TIME. Joshua will start kindergarten this year. I cannot believe it. He will be going to the small christian school that my oldest four attend. I have spent countless hours testing Josie Love and trying to find the best "fit" for her. While she has made HUGE strides in EVERY way, her speech and fine motor skills are still very much delayed. We live in williamson county which is known nationwide for the public school system being at the top of the charts. There is a school 3 minutes from our home that she will be attending. They will provide her with an assistant all day, while the therapies that she needs will rotate in and out through out the day. It is TRULY a blessing. I cant wait to see the progress she will make with one-on-one therapy, when she has come as far as she has on love alone. I have been so excited about it that I havent stopped to think about how my heart will feel on the actual first day of leaving her.

The first day of kindergarten is always an emotional one for me. It is a sure sign that my children are getting older and entering a new chapter in their lives. Everything that I have invested in them about Christ and how to treat others is going to be be put to the test. feet to the fire!! And this year I have Joshua AND Josie starting on the same day. eeeeeeek.

I stopped by Josie's school to leave her paperwork. the moment I stepped out of my van, my stomach started turning. NEW place, NEW faces, NEW voices, NEW smell...totally out of my comfort zone. After handing the lady my paperwork, She became a little overwhelmed. She couldn't find Josie's name in her folder, so I explained that she would be receiving therapy/assistant etc....that her folder might be in a different place than the norm. She looked over her papers and I was very quickly led to the principal. I couldn't help but giggle and think...first day and I'm already going to the principals office! haha We talked through her needs briefly, and he said that he would check with their therapists and they would get back to me.

As I walked out of the building tears streamed down my face. Josie's paperwork paints a totally different picture than who she is. it reads THERAPY, ASSISTANT, HIV+, extra time, extra effort, time away from the "normal class". My heart ached as I thought of the perception that was painted of her to the normal person. No wonder the poor lady at the front desk was a little bumfuzzled by me. I GET IT!

I got in the car and said "OKAY LORD, I AM TIRED OF BEING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE...can't I just feel an INCH of peace in my heart?!??! Just let me SIT in my peace of mind for just a moment. aaarrrggghhhh. He whispered to me, "you will sit in the peace that only I can give...not what this world can give you, and it is far greater than anything that you could ever feel from the world." So, that is what I am choosing to do...once again, sitting in HIS peace that is NOT of the world, and once again...feeling like an alien in my own skin. It is going to be good.....I just wish I had hindsight and could see the fruits now instead of later. ( I will never learn....)

The things that make her so fun are her mischievousness, giggles, activity level...these things are not so endearing in a class room setting. I have no doubt that once she transitions in, she will follow what everyone else is doing...however, it wont take the "mischief" out of her sparkling eyes!

Pray with me that her teacher and her assistant will see her heart. That she will bring them joy from the first day. That they can smile and appreciate all that life has dealt her and feel the love that she truly brings to my heart each and every day. Pray that Mike and I can stand firm in our life that HE has given us and we will NOT waiver. The we will represent the love of CHRIST in a mighty way.

147give aways! #7 thing that make me smile!

2011-08-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

OKAY!!!! we are giving away gifts all day!! Go to 147 million orphans facebook page....a perfect opportunity to get friends involved!

Kisses from Katie..her book!!! #6 thing that makes me smile!!!

2011-07-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

Is anybody else as excited as I am about Katie's book?!?!? I cannot wait for you guys to read it....I LOVE this girl with my whole heart!!

Joshua's first football practice...#5 things that make me smile!

2011-07-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

the fourth thing that makes me smile...Josie can swim!!

2011-07-27T05:50:00.000-07:00

the third thing that makes me smile...

2011-07-22T17:04:00.000-07:00

How a child can go from this:
to this:

He is the I AM....

Things that make me smile

2011-07-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago, we had some guys come and help us with some work around the house. Josie Love was DRAWN to one of the guys (more specifically, the glasses on his face) I kept making her come inside because I would look outside and she would be wearing the poor guys glasses. The sun was HOT that day, and he needed them for the work that he was doing.

They came the next week and it was the same thing....she followed him around, just talking his ears off.

A few days ago, I went to my mailbox and there was a pair of glasses and a note that read "these are for the little girl that stole my heart and loved my glasses" NOW, that made me smile...

Josie feeding her baby

2011-07-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

The summer is growing long, so until school starts (and to keep from crying from feeling defeated), I am going to start posting things that make me smile: here is #1...

maggie bustin' a move

2011-07-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

An angel from above....
The past few years have been full of heartache, frustration, questioning, joy, love, redemption, and crying out to our Savior.I have watch my best friend Gwen, be the hands and feet of Jesus OVER and OVER to her little Maggie. Three and a half years ago, Gwen flew to China to bring home a little girl that was missing some hair. We thought a surgery to add some hair, and she'll be good to go. At first glance, Gwen knew there was more. Her eyes were hollow, she wouldn't look anyone in the eyes, and she was covered in bruises. It was obvious that the burn on her head was not an accident but out of abuse. She was BROKEN. She had learned not to look anyone in the eyes for self preservation. When people saw her they would gasp because of her outward appearance. She was like an animal. She scratched, bit, pinched...the tantrums were like NONE I had ever seen. Her eyes would roll back in her head and she would act as though she was pulling binding from her wrists and ankles. WITHOUT DOUBT, ONE OF THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THINGS i have ever seen in real life. She did not know how to receive love, and she didn't know how to give it. The first year, Gwen camped out at my house because she couldnt take her out much because she was so unpredictable but Gwen had to get out to keep from losing her mind. We had multiple conversations about when and if her tantrums would ever end...it was a dark, dark season in Gwen's life. Gwen continued to love her and show her what unconditional love looked like. We had to remind ourselves over and over that God gave Maggie to the Oatsvalls, and if she was suppose to be their little girl, that meant everything that came with her. While I was in Uganda, bringing home Josie Love, I was so thankful that I had Gwen's experience to remind me that while I was completely "out of my comfort zone" God had me in the palm of HIS hand. That if Josie was my child, when I got on a plane to pick her up, that whatever baggage she had when I got there, was mine also.Maggie is on her 6th surgery now. Hopefully it is her last. The surgeons went in yesterday and added bone from her ribs to her skull to cover the part of her brain that was unprotected. She is in ICU, hopefully to be moved to a normal room today. Today, Maggie is one of the most loving, happy children that I have ever known. She looks you in the eye, tells story with a joy that only Christ (and a loving mother) can give. LOVE HEALS...I have seen it first hand. Seeing Maggie go from a broken (IN EVERY WAY) little girl, to being WHOLE from the inside OUT because of a home, siblings, and parents that were steadfast in living out the gospel each and every day to heal her little heart!I am so thankful that God has given me a friend like Gwen. We have walked through the valleys and the hilltops together. I have seen her on her knees full of despair, and standing tall in KNOWING that only HE can give her child exactly what she needs to thrive. She is full of strength and relies on HIM daily to give her what she needs. I am so thankful that I have her to as an example to follow. Pray with me for rest and perseverance for Gwen as she helps Maggie heal from her surgery. AND that the Lord will heal Maggie's "booboo" so she'll be ready to go to kindergarten in August.

time away...

2011-07-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

all of the siblings....

I sat on the couch yesterday and counted the places that we have stayed the past two weeks and we have been in 5 hotel/condos in two weeks. NO WONDER my body is sore and I am tired! Entirely too much moving around for a family of 9.

While the last week was exhausting, it was full of purpose. Our boys made it to the national tournament for the second year in a row. While they didn't win, we came in second, which is a HUGE success. When Gwen and I started 147 million orphans, Michael and Jeremiah decided that they wanted to do their part. They named their team Team 147, Gwen's husband (Scott) is their coach, and while traveling and playing ball, they brought orphan awareness NATIONWIDE. How about that for two 12 year olds? Scott has done a fabulous job of pointing them to Christ, teaching them how to play the game, and serve others. The past few years have truly been a blessing.

As the week passed, we gave MANY of our business cards out. People asked the question "what is Team 147?" "what does 147 mean?" we had discussion after discussion about the orphan crisis. During half time Josie would dance for everyone. All of the families with our team would just cheer and cheer. I had several people ask me what her story was. They could tell that it was more that just a typical child dancing...because of the smiles that spread across the faces of her friends. As I shared, tears were shed. One of our opposing teams is going home to fundraise for 147...how fun is that?

In 1 Corinthians the bible says: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God....who says you cant use basketball?:)

We packed everything up and headed to Orange Beach to celebrate the fourth with my husbands family. I brought Jeremiah with us (Gwen's oldest) and Anna Bliss ( my angel this summer...helped while I was in Uganda and now the beach..the patience of an angel...SERIOUSLY) We spent the day on the beach yesterday, littles are up, eating breakfast at my in-laws with Mike...and I headed down to take a run. It's gonna be a good week!

here is a lil song from my early riser....

Family time

2011-06-30T04:51:00.001-07:00

We are in Orlando for vacation/basketball tournament. We are having a great time at the amusement parks/basketball games. It has taken me the past few weeks to "gather my chickens back under my wings." Caleb regressed in potty training while I was gone, "sassiness" crept in to some of my kids attitudes and I needed a few "date nights" with my sweets to catch back up on life!

My internet is hit or miss where we are staying. I just wanted to pop in and say that I am still alive. One of my sweet friends is in China bringing home their little girl if you want to follow: Carissa's blog. have a good week!

a different culture...a different life...same love...same Jesus

2011-06-21T17:04:00.000-07:00

i THINK that i am SLOWLY coming out of the "jet lag fog." My children and husband were SO happy for things to be back to "normal" again. I must admit, THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME!

One of my favorite days was one that we spent with our friends that make the recycled paper bead necklaces. We have watched these women go from eyes and hearts full of despair to smiles, laughter, and joy. Katie has taught these women the love of Christ by helping them serve others in their community. She has SHOWN them what it means to serve, therefore they are taking her torch and running with it. It is the NEATEST thing to watch. While we were there, one woman purchased the land and house that she had been renting. As we were leaving, there was another woman gathering her savings to do the same. IT WAS SOOOOO EXCITING!!! You can tell by the way that they look at Katie that they have SO MUCH admiration and love for her. We interviewed one of the ladies, and while she was speaking about Katie she fell apart. Her eyes just flooded with tears while she shared how thankful she is that Katie came along and helped her and her friends learn how to provide for their families. It just filled my heart to play a TINY part in helping Katie love these ladies SO well. The more these beads sell, the more these ladies have to share. It is awesome to watch how they care for each other rather than keeping it all for themselves. I walked away thinking "how in the world does she know HOW to be the feet of Jesus SO WELL?!?!"

Another "heart moment" that I had was with the family that lives behind Katie's house. This sweet friend has four children. When Katie found them, the youngest two were so malnourished and dehydrated she had to give them IV's. They live in one of the rooms of this house behind Katie's house. When I say that this family pulled my heart out of my chest and crushed it, is an understatement. The father lives somewhere else and comes to visit every six months or so. You can tell that the family LOVES living near Katie and her girls.

This is Kapata. VERY serious until he gets to know you and then lightens up the entire yard with his smile...oh my goodness, he is precious!

Now, this little toot is Salemu. I LOVE HIM. He is the only child that I have ever carried around without a diaper and could care less if he peed or pooped on me..hahaha.

This is "Girl" and "baby Katie"...Girl carries Katie on her hip or back most of the day. (Big)Katie is trying to teach the mom how to care for her children and let girl play and act like a child, without the responsibility of her little sister 24/7.

this is "mom"....she is learning how to wash clothes and care for her children. SHe is learning to work and do "her part" around the Davis compound :)

I asked Katie how long she planned on letting them stay. I could tell by the look on her face and her grin that she loves this family also! After spending time with them for a few days, I couldn't help but notice that the childrens clothes are just RATTY( filthy with holes) and the little ones don't wear diapers. I watched and wondered why Katie didn't buy clothes and diapers for them. As the week neared its end, I realized that she is loving them well by giving the mom work and food for her children. She is sharing the love of Christ with them. (they are muslim) After she shows them love and provides food, shelter, and life skills.....THEN the mom can provide the clothes and diapers...and will do it with PRIDE!!

OH, I have SOOOO much to learn. While I am home now, I will continue to lift my friends on the other side of the world UP to HIM. What a peace that gives my heart.

Hope that only HE can give...

2011-06-15T17:11:00.001-07:00

I am on the plane, headed home. I am so anxious to see Mike and my six children that I left at home. As I think back over the week, I am completely overwhelmed. I keep trying to gather my thoughts. We saw SO MUCH NEED, that I really do not even have a place in my brain to file it away. I have busied myself with reading my novel and watching movies. I am 22 hours into the travel and decided to open my laptop and try to figure out exactly what it is that I am feeling in my heart. There is no way to ever feel like I can heal all of the pain. There is also no way to help everyone in need. There are so many mommy’s that have dull eyes. No brightness to their face at all. They seem so defeated. There are some that smile continuously. Joy oozes from every pore of their body. Some are ill, others are healthy. Some Ugandans seem to detest Americans. Others seem to enjoy us visiting.

We visited one of the children’s homes at nap time. As we walked through each room there were bunks against every wall. Every bed was full. Each room was full of bunks, full of children. There was room after room after room after room…full of bunks, full of children. I was walking aside the man that was leading the “tour.” I asked him how many of the children were actually “orphaned.” He replied “about 75% the other 25% have family that cannot keep them, but haven’t terminated their rights.” I asked him how many were HIV positive. He answered “four…a 1 year old, a 2 year old, a 3 year old, and a 4 year old.” I couldn’t help but think, “then why is it SOOOO hard to adopt?! Why does the process take SO long? Every day that goes by, is another day that a little boy/girl is lonely. “

Stats show that if a child hasn’t accepted Christ by the time they are ten years old, there is only a 24% chance that they ever will. Satan knows this. If he can keep these children without families then he has a better chance of owning them. THAT is why adoption is so difficult. THAT is what he uses to dissuade us from helping these children.

THE WAIT…..THE WAIT…. THE WAIT, we are SO impatient!! All week long I thought about how spoiled we are as Americans. We typically get what we want, when we want it. We have “drive thru” reataurants, we have “drive thru” banks, we have “drive thru” grocery stores (I LOVE this one…it makes my life SO much easier!!) We do everything online…click of a button, and POOF! It is ours! Heaven forbid us have to wait!! There are so many families that are going through “private adoptions” to get it done faster. While MOST “private adoptions” are legit, there are some that are not. A mom hands her malnourished child over to an American in hopes that they can help her nurse them back to health and then give her back…she never sees her baby again. It happens all of the time. Because of our IMPATIENCE, foreigners can make money. There are RED flags everywhere in Uganda right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if the embassy didn’t shut down again because of it…..same in Ethiopia. … Agencies under investigation. Satan is LOVING this!!! He is using our “I want it now” attitudes to work against us. AND IT IS WORKING!!!

I have been there…the wait IS awful!!! But doesn’t God know us? Doesn’t HE know the timing that is best for us. It’s funny how we feel the Lord call us to adopt, bring a child home, even a “special needs” child…(the wait isn’t as long for them…aren’t we all special needs?) give a child a family…yet, after that calling…WE’LL DO THE REST! We’ll make it happen! In our time!! Not HIS. Because that’s what we do! We are in control, so we’ll make it happen. Those of you that are in process and in the WAIT….please be encouraged!! He is in control. He has your child picked out for you. HE loves that child more than you can even fathom. He’s got YOU in the palm of HIS hand!!

THAT is what I am clinging to right now. That HE has those women with the dull eyes and no joy in the palm of HIS hand. He loves them. He will care for them, and at the end of the day, they will spend eternity with HIM. That is HOPE.

Meanwhile, I will love my husband well. I will love my children well. I will teach them about HIM. The only ONE that can ever make them feel WHOLE and have joy. The true joy that only HIS love can bring.

Who says that you have to have the Swiss Alps?

2011-06-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy riding with Katie. She never plays her radio because of all of the chatter that happens amongst her girls. IT NEVER FAILS, they always break out into song...they have the most beautiful voices. I always take a video because it is such a sweet, sweet memory from my trip each time (not to mention that Josie Love will watch it OVER and OVER for hours!) here's a little glimpse:

Saturday worship

2011-06-11T06:53:00.000-07:00

we started off the day with breakfast in town...we picked up our last few souvenirs before we head home tomorrow. Katie picked us up in town and we headed out to Buzica. I havent had pictures for the past few days because Gwen and I have had a videographer/photographer filming for 147 Million Orphans. Today, however, I kept my phone with me and snapped a few pictures for myself! When we arrived, the music and bible study was just getting started. I cannot believe what was once an open field now holds daily "get togethers" to share the love of Christ with this community. The last time that I saw Auntie Joanne she had a 2 year old strapped to her back while cooking the food for Amazima. She practically tackled me when our eyes met. We gained our balance and shared what was going on in each of our lives. She grabbed my hand and led me to the corner, lifted a blanket and showed me her child "Innocent" who is 3 weeks old. PRECIOUS! I held him for the next hour. He grunted like a little pig. I really wanted to stick him in my pocket and bring him home!!

Gwen, Grace and I served the children their lunch (one our favorite things to do) It is such a blessing to look each and every child in the eyes. Their smiles are so thankful. Their faces light up like a beam of sunshine. I am so proud of Katie for pushing forward and continuing to serve this community in such a mighty way. This country is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get things done in a timely manner. The Lord has given her a group of support here. They work so hard and GET IT DONE! The Amazima team is UNBELIEVABLE.

(and I can't forget Franko! He got out of his cage, so we took the opportunity to give him some love!!)

We came home to put the little ones down for naps and a friend met us at the door saying that a lady had a baby, but she was still bleeding. SO, we all jumped back in the car and headed to a guest house where the lady had just delivered a little girl. Katie went in and talked to the lady and she was still in a lot of pain. WHile Katie treated the sweet woman, Gwen, Grace and I go tto hold her bundle of joy...just a few hours old!! The lady had two sisters with her. They had their other children with them...quite a crowd welcoming this new little bitty to the family! WHen we finally made it back to Katie's there was a man waiting in her yard that had an absessed hole in his stomach and wanted Katie to treat him. I MEAN WHAT IN THE WORLD!?!?!

I absolutely love to watch Katie minister to these people. She comes alive. SHe was MADE for this. He has gifted her. I am so proud of my sweet friend who lives the craziest life that is so full of love, joy, heartache, and pain. Her dependency on Christ encourages my faith walk each and every day.

Day 4

2011-06-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

We were planning to go into the village but we had several things come up, so we stayed at Katie's and ran errands in town. We were able to check several things of our 147 list...which is always nice. We ended the day with a bible study at Katie's after her girls were in bed. It was a really sweet time of worship. I met a girl named Morgan, who is here serving at an HIV orphanage. She said that she would be more than happy for us to come visit...which leads us to

Day 5.

This little boy is named Moses. I know him from when I came to get Josie Love. He was very sick. He had a high fever and wimpered a lot. After we found out that Josie was positive, I remember thinking, I wonder if Moses will ever have a family? My heart has always been broken for him. As people were coming to Uganda to visit, I would tell them to check on him for me. One day, someone came home and told me that he had been moved to an orphanage for HIV. I figured I might not ever see him again. As i looked the room over and saw his sweet face, my heart skipped a beat. He has spots on his skin and I am not sure what they are from. He is PRECIOUS! He has grown some and seems to be doing alright. I couldn't believe how this home was so organized and clean. They do a great job of making sure the children get their meds and care for them so well. They will even keep the children until they are 18. My new friend Morgan was going to show us around. I set Moses down, thinking that he might want to go play. He stood close to my leg and grabbed my hand. SO, I just couldn't resist, I picked him back up.

As I looked around my heart began to ache. I looked at each room, I envisioned Josie putting on her little pajamas and climbing into one of the beds. When I looked in the kitchen, I thought about her sitting on the floor eating her dinner. The children were playing outside....would she have been with them? or still sitting in the grass just watching? The tears started flowing and I could not stop them.

I looked the word hope up in the dictionary:

hope

1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.

2. To have confidence; trust.

1. To look forward to with confidence or expectation

2. To expect and desire.

1. A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment.

We ALL desire these things. God created us this way. Every orphan wishes to be loved and cared for by a mommy and a daddy....to have a family. The Lord desires for us to have people here on earth to love us and make us feel as though we "belong." Thankfully, these children have people who are caring for them and teaching them about Jesus. when they age out of the orphanage, then what?! These children have been abandoned, alone, and sick with just a handful of people to care for them.

The rest of the day i was full of despair. How can this be? how can there be this many children that God created SO perfectly with no mommy and daddy, no one to kiss them good night, and no one to love them? I looked at Gwen and she had the same look on her face. We were both broken for these children. She was thinking the same thing that I was thinking. I had NO hope. I cried and cried and cried. There were over 50 "Josie Love's" in one building. Most people that adopt do not really know what would have happened to their child had they not adopted them. Today, it was staring me in the face. THIS is where Josie would be. THIS would be her bed...THIS would be her clothes.....THIS would be her life with the 50 others that are here. my heart broke.

In these moments I get so angry that I have to go to the one that cares the most...the one who whispers in my ears:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

HE gives me hope. HE gives me joy in knowing that HE loves them. And one day they will all spend eternity in his arms. Until then, HE will use me. HE will give me every opportunity to share the stories of these children to hopefully move hearts to action on behalf of these children.

This little boy that Gwen is holding is two years old. His name is Kevin. He has HIV, malaria, and the flu. One day, with the right meds and love, he could be running around and happy just like Josie is.

the little girl on the left is deaf and positive. her name is Jane. Elijah is on the right.....Grace was a champ. Her mom was a big weepy mess and she looked at me with affirmation as if to say " I get it mom! my heart is broken also, and I will stand RIGHT beside you on behalf of these children that I am surrounded by." I am so thankful that her heart is tender to the things of Christ. AND that she hears the Holy Spirit whisper in her ears to speak up and ACT on behalf of these sweet children. I am so blessed.

to read bout the other two childrens homes that we visited today...go to: Gwen's blog

day 3

2011-06-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

I received several reports today: 1) from Anna Bliss (who is one of four that are keeping the home fires burning)

"naptime is the best invention you ever had!!! washed your car today, baked cupcakes, played outside aaaall morning, going to the pool after naptime (with life jackets of course :), caleb ate ALL of his lunch, house is clean, grace's new room is in the works with sweet mrs. kim, michael is a champ and playing bball at the Y with a friend, MA and AB call me every couple hours to tell me about the weather, their lunch, etc and AB's teeth are feeling better! everyone is doing just splendid but we sure do miss you!!!"
DO I have the best helpers or what?! God is SOOOO good!

2) "Hallooooo Suzon!!!" I said "who is this?!?" the response: "who do you think it is? It's me john jigo! I am so fine!! i just wanted to tell you that I have JOY, JOY, JOY in my heart today being with my family!! Suzon, my family is SOOO big! you wouldn't believe it!! I have many nieces and nephews!!"
He went on to tell me that he spent the entire first day at his mom's grave praying over her I held the phone out so that Gwen could hear him. We both smiled from ear to ear. He makes me so happy!

We started the day by heading to the pool with Katie and her girls. (homeschooling was put on hold because the "vistas" are here.) The girls love to swim. We laid in our chairs and relaxed and talked about relationships, Amazima "work stuff", life at home, life in Uganda. It was turning out to be a great day.

Awhile later, we went into town and while Gwen, Grace, and I were standing on the corner, a big dump truck ran over a motorcycle with two men on it. The truck's tires hit the front wheel and the handle bars and crunched it. The men were able to kinda hop off...it was a MIRACLE that the men were not killed. Another inch and the entire motorcycle and both men would have been under the wheel. THE BIG TRUCK KEPT GOING!!!! never paused or stopped. I instantly looked at Grace and her face was white as a sheet. I could tell that her mind was reeling with disbelief of what her eyes had just seen. I whispered a prayer of thanksgiving that the men were okay, and we had not seen something that would have forever been imprinted in our minds.

A bit later, we stopped at the hospital for a visit. The rooms reminded me of jail cells. There were a few that were separate from the main building. All of the others were large rooms with cots stacked all around the walls with people sleeping on the floors. The thought of being in pain and staying there made my heart hurt for these people. I looked at Gwen and said "we will NEVER complain about going to Vanderbilt again!!"
We have so much to be thankful for. Each day, the Lord is easing us into a little more heartache. We seem to be seeing a little more each and every day....things that HE longs for us to be tender towards. He LONGS for us to reach out, step out of our comfortable little lives and be THANKFUL for the blessings that HE has given us.
Tomorrow we will go into the village. This is always hard for my heart. These people have NOTHING...no food for their next meal, maybe two changes of clothes. Gwen and I are going to see the women who make our beads. One of the ladies that has been in the bead program had saved enough money and Kristene was taking her to buy land today!! How exciting is that? We are hoping to get some video footage of their testimonies on what the Lord has done in their lives through being able to provide for themselves and their children. Now, that makes me smile.
stay tuned...

day 2

2011-06-05T11:08:00.001-07:00

My day started out with a phone call from John Jigo saying "halo Suzon! I am here with my people and I am SO SO hoppy!! I am with my seester and my brotter!! thank you Suzon for bringing me here!!" My day could have ended right then, and felt complete! aaaahhhh made my heart SO full.

And then it just got better and better! We went out to Katie's land. Two years ago Katie and I stood on the land and it was completely empty and we dreamed of where everything would go. Last year when I came to get Josie Love, Patrick's house was being built. Today I when I got there it was FULL. Full of children, full of food, there is the most fabulous playground EVER. There is a covered pavilion for the raining season. Our dream is alive...it is up and running...and it is giving love, food , and shelter to the children here. We rode down the rode all cram packed in Katie's van and Katie looked at us and said "we are all here together!! just riding down the road here in Uganda...TOGETHER!" After loving on the Karamajong children for a bit, we headed to Katie's to rest. We laid around on the couches and talked and watched Katie clean and wrap a mans leg that was burned. His house caught on fire and his calf muscle is literally raw flesh. The smell that escaped while she unwrapped the old bandage was almost too much to bear. I was amazed the way he sat quietly while she cleaned it. I am beginning to think that we are a bunch of wimps in America...hahaa!After a small rest,we loaded up the van to head to Auntie Renee's house.

I am so thankful for Renee. She is such a sweet friend to Katie. They support each other and their hearts are made from the same mold. She is doing an awesome work over here in rehabilitating children from malnourishment. She brings these children in, along with their mom/auntie/jaja and nurses them back to health while their guardian learns how to care for them. Her home is FULL of children right now. To read about what Renee is doing go to:servinghischildreninuganda.blogspot.com

this little one has an IV in his head to receive fluids because he was so dehydrated...

this little one is almost two years old...notice how tiny his hands are compared to his banana...just to see these children receive love, have hope, grow and become healthy is such a blessing.

Many of you were a HUGE support in helping raise funds for my friend Tosha's adoption. For my 40th birthday, we raised $11,000 towards their adoption process. The highlight of the day was getting to love on Abigail!!! Tosha is anxiously awaiting a court date. I guess if she can't travel here to love on that sweet baby...I'm the next best thing! haha

SHE IS PRECIOUS!!! I cannot wait until she is home with us for good! Between Gwen, Grace and I she is "loved up" for awhile!

Day 1

2011-06-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

I did not sleep a wink last night!!! It was miserable. The fan squeaked all night and I think that I slept a little too much on the plane. I am hoping tonight will be much better. We woke up and ate a yummy breakfast overlooking the most beautiful tropical flowers. We were expecting our driver to arrive at 9:30, but his van overheated so he didn't make it until 11:30. We were bummed that we missed Katie's praise and worship day but made the best of it. It took us FOUR hours to make what is normally a 2 hour drive from Kampala. There was a BIG futbol game at the coliseum. These people were jacked!! They were blowing horns, flying Ugandan flags, screaming, it was Tennessee Titan football X 10!! It was really neat to see such a poverty stricken place join together and celebrate their culture/team. I smiled the whole way through the Kampala watching these people have so much fun.

We went to Katie's to eat dinner. It was SO good to see her. I have missed her sweet face so much! I got to meet the woman and her three children who are living with her. I introduced myself to the first one standing in a little pink dress. It was tattered and torn and filthy. After talking with her she lifted her dress to show me that "she" was actually a "he!" the second one was a little older and I asked her name and she said "girl", I replied "oh I know you are a girl and that is your little brother, what is your name sweetheart?" She said "girl," I was so perplexed. Katie let me stay confused for a moment and then through her laughter said "that is her name...GIRL" ( i couldnt help but think, this is going to be a long week!) My thoughts went back to Katie leaving those children in their clothes that they came to her house wearing. My first thought was "give this boy some overalls!" She has so much wisdom in knowing that one day they will return to their village and she doesnt want to give them all of these things just to return to nothing. So much wisdom she has...

After dinner we laughed and laughed and laughed until we all had headaches and decided to shower and go to bed. We have a fun day planned tomorrow...stay tuned!

my friend John Jigo

2011-06-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

We made it! We are all snuggled in under our mosquito nets ready for sleep! I LOVE THIS PLACE!! When I took my first step off of the plane I drew in a deep breathe and whispered "Thank you Lord for bringing me back!!"

When Gwen and I first started 147 million orphans we wanted to add a bag to our product line. all of the "business people" that we talked to encouraged us to order them from overseas for a dollar or two and print them the way that we wanted them. Every time we started the process, we just felt like something was missing. So, we started looking for an individual to sew them for us. Through a contact we met John Jigo. He was born is Sudan and fled from the war-torn country when he was seven years old. He now lives in Nashville with his wife and two children. He works in a factory sewing tags on uniforms for his day job and works for me and Gwen in his extra time. He is always joyful and thankful for anything and everything that the Lord blesses him with. He is ray of sunshine each and every time I meet with him to discuss a different bag. I have had the women at our fabric store call me three different times just to tell me how much they love it when he picks up the fabric and it how he just brightens their day. He still has a VERY thick African accent. I can hardly understand him over the phone. It took me six months to relay to him the design and "look" that we wanted for our bags. Still, "business people" tell Gwen and I that we could make so much more on our bags is we would order them overseas....and our answer is always "NO".

John mentioned to me once that he dreamed of returning to Africa to see his family. He wanted to go before his mother passed away, so that he could tell her that he has forgiven her for abandoning him and his siblings when he was seven years old. The war tore through his village and at seven years old, he fled as far as he could go....ending up in Uganda. (His journey took him to Egypt where he joined the armed forces and fought in the Gulf War on behalf of the US) All the time hoping to one day make it back to his family in Sudan. Regretfully, he never made it back home before his mother passed away.

When Gwen and I started planning this trip, we instantly thought to ask John to come with us. How full would our hearts feel, to help reunite John with his two sisters and brother? SO, here we are...just landed in Entebbe with John Jigo!! I asked so many questions during lay overs and over meals. We learned that he was sending his mom $100 a month for medicines up until the day that she died...even though she had abandoned them and he had not seen her for 32 years. We learned that his village has no clean water and he wants to take pictures to bring home so that we can help in putting in a well for his family. His siblings told him that they would not believe that he was coming until they actually see him in person. He shared with us that this is a bittersweet trip for him. The smells, music, people bring back a FLOOD of memories...mostly bad. He plans to first stop at his mothers grave and pray over her asking for forgiveness that he did not make it back before her death. He brought gifts for each and every family member that he has here. He told us that throughout his life, his heart has not been whole. Something has been missing and he knows that this trip will fill that void. He talks about being a "survivor" and not knowing where his next meal was coming from....totally dependent on Christ.

Gwen and I are so happy that Christ brought John to us. He is truly a blessing! Pray with us that his heart will feel complete after being here. That the Holy Spirit will just fill those voids within him and that we can be the blessing to him that he is to us. He will be separating from us in the morning and going to Sudan while we go to Katies. Pray for safe travels....

and we are off.....

2011-06-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

I have such a mixture of emotions. My heart is about to beat out of my chest just at the thought of Katie, Gwen, and I ALL being in Uganda together. we have spent SO much time in the US preparing, serving, loving, giving from a far. This will be the first time for us to be together in the country that we all three hold so close to our hearts. to say that I feel excitement is an understatement.

Fear COULD creep in if I allowed. I could be worried about leaving my children, my husband, and just WHAT if everything falls apart?!? I know that satan wants MORE than anything for me to be anxious. THEREFORE, I will not go there.

A mother's heart is so tender. The thought of not seeing my family for 2 weeks can be a little overwhelming, so I and SOOOOO glad that I am taking Grace with me. It will definitely fill the void some.

God is going to do a mighty work on this trip...I can feel it. HE has a very detailed plan for all that we are to see, do, and then ACT when we get back home. I love the way that HE has kntted our hearts together to work on HIS behalf. I feel so honored to walk blindly with HIS lead!

put on your seat belts....we are off!

crazy dinner time

2011-05-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

I KNOW that this happens to many of you out in blogger land. There are days when I want to cry when this is happening. There are days that I cannot help but LAUGH OUT LOUD that THIS is what is going on in my kitchen as I try to feed my brood of 9. There are times when I say to myself " SURELY this is not really my life...how did this happen?!?!"

As many of you know, my son Michael and Gwen's son Jeremiah play basketball on Team 147. It has been so neat to watch these young boys spread orphan awareness as they travel and play ball. We will be loading on to a big coach bus to travel to New Orleans on Friday for a tourney. During the "planning phase" Gwen and I agreed to it, and now we are doubting ourselves!! Their teammates and their families have NO IDEA what they have gotten themselves into! It will be a CRAZY trip for them huh? Gwen says that as she is boarding with all of her kids she is going to put out the disclaimer that we voted "no" when they all voted "yes" to riding together!! We will return LATE Sunday. I will have 3 days to pack and prepare for our trip to Uganda to see Katie. We fly out next Thursday morning. I AM SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND IT!!!! Gwen and I have never traveled to Africa together, we have a LOT to get done while we are there. We will be blogging the whole time. Grace is going with us...can you imagine traveling with Lucy and Ethel? that is what her trip is going to be like. She never lacks for laughter when she is with Gwen and I!! I would really appreciate your prayers for preparation. When I start to think of all that needs to be done, and I will be gone for 3 days in between I start to gasp for air. OH WELL...

can someone shout AMEN?!?!?!

2011-05-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

I love all of these adjectives!! I really LOVE the end! WOW!

to answer a few questions...

2011-05-14T05:49:00.001-07:00

Because of the emails and messages that I have received about my last post, I thought I would just blog my answers...not that I have that many....haha

The minute, that the nurse asked "what are her daily meds?" my test chest tightened and I thought "OH MY, what will be her response?" As I listed them, her face became more and more perplexed. There was a short silence and she said "these are anti-viral meds for HIV/AIDS?" and I responded "yes maam." After she pulled her manual out, she explained that they were not equipped to diagnose anyone taking those type of meds. She told me that she dealt with AIDS regularly at her "other job" but had never seen it at this one. (HINDSIGHT: I didn't think to ask what her "other job" was...) I DID explain that the reason that I brought her was to get her ears checked and just get some "routine" anti-biotics. I knew they would not be drawing blood, etc... and that is when she said "no maam, I would get in BIG trouble for assessing her...and gave me a list of places that WOULD treat her.

After getting home, I thought back through my day. I was still perplexed as to why she couldn't just look in her ears and give me a basic z-pack or amoxicillin. My mother-in-law is an infection disease nurse and she said that the minute clinics are not equipped to decide what meds can mix with others. So, when you are on the meds that Josie is they just completely steer clear. It is still perplexing. If I had it to do over I have a list of things that I would ask... haha.

I was talking to a friend last night that had read my post and she was asking me questions about it. I said to her, " honestly, before bringing Josie home, if you would have told me that a mother took her HIV child to a minute clinic, I would have responded quite differently." I would have thought...."why would a mother take a child with HIV (something SO severe to a minute clinic?!??!) Is she crazy??!!" The reality is...it IS our new normal and while it seems pretty insignificant now that she is well and thriving, we live in America and there is A LOT of educating that needs to be done. While it seems crazy to me, there are many legal ramifications that all of our doctors/nurses have to deal with. I have to be okay with it and continue to pray for the Lord to lead me in HOW to respond. HE will take care of the rest. I do not need to try justify anything, I am doing well to just live each day out relying on HIM. I will learn from my mistakes. Will NOT make them again, and be thankful that HE has entrusted me with her little life and HE will equip me with what I need.

I AM VERY encouraged that those of you that know Josie's story are now educated. You are equally as perplexed as I was on Sunday. THAT alone, makes my heart happy, that we are joining minds and hearts to bring light to the stigma that surrounds this virus. In the end, HE ALONE will be glorified through this little girls story!!

On an even MORE encouraging note, we are almost through with her testing for school/therapies. She is doing AWESOME!! the therapists are in awe of her progress over the past 19 months. They are so encouraging and are saying that they think that she can catch up and flourish in the classroom setting. WITHOUT DOUBT she is very intelligent! whoooop!

IMG_1199.MOV

2011-05-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

If you follow my blog, you have seen over the past year what a stinker Josie Love can be. The other day, I asked her to go get her sandals out of her cubby, so that we could leave. When I didn't see her for awhile, I went searching. Josie+quiet=T-R-O-U-B-L-E!! THis is what I found.

She couldn't find her sandals in her cubby, so she just decided to go through every other child's cubby and look for her shoes. I could scream and get really frustrated or I could use this as a time to clear out all of the shoes that do not fit anymore. I chose the latter. (thankfully, we didn't have anywhere to be at a specific time.)

I took her for the testing of her speech therapy and she did really well for the first 30 minutes, and then she decided to act as though she was sleeping. LITERALLY, SNORING!! I would shake her and she was like a noodle. (grin on her face the whole time!) Finally, I took her out of my lap, sat her in the chair and said "okay, you do it!" and she sat up real big in her chair did about 20 more questions, then went limp again, snoring, with a grin on her face. SERIOUSLY? I got my oldest four off to school, showered, actually fixed my hair and make-up, had a sitter come for Joshua and Caleb, for THIS!??! So, the therapist decided to do the rest of her assessment at her preschool. We have her occupational therapy testing tomorrow..please pray for me! haha

Mother's Day was a hard day for me. Josie has been really congested with allergy symptoms. She had started complaining with her ear hurting, so I figured that she had developed an ear infection. I was afraid to let her go another day because I didn't want the pain to become more severe. I decided to take her to the minute clinic and let them check her ears and give us some meds...pretty simple procedure..I THOUGHT. We sat for 45 minutes, waiting to be seen. The nurse practitioner called her name, we went in, she took her temp, blood pressure, weight, etc....and right before she looked into her ears she asked me if she was on any daily meds and if so, what kind. SO, I gave her the names of her meds and INSTANTLY a light bulb went off in my head and I thought "what if they won't treat her?" The nurse looked a little stunned and asked if her meds were anti-virals and I said "yes" and she said "I can't treat her." She pulled out a HUGE book and started thumbing through it. She landed on a page and pointed to script (at the time was blurry for me because my eyes were welling with tears) and said "see? right here, I can't treat her." She asked me if she had AIDS, and I said "no ma'am, she is hiv positive and her viral loads are undetectable. I would have never brought her in if she had any significant symptoms, no breathing issues, no temperature, nothing severe...just an ear infection" and she very quickly clicked out of our account and sent me on my way. I cried the whole way out of the store. I was ANGRY. I was ANGRY at that lady. I was ANGRY at myself, for thinking that it would be okay to bring her there. I was ANGRY at Mike for not thinking ahead and mentioning that they might not see her (just because he always thinks ahead, he always thinks of the unthinkable....) Has Josie's HIV become so "normal" to us that we are no longer "guarding" our hearts from the pain that instances like this one can cause? I could have reached a point of anger and hurt that would not have been unhealthy. Anger and hurt on behalf of my little angel who was sitting in my back seat totally oblivious that I was weeping on her behalf. At that moment, I had a decision to make. I could sit in my bitterness or I could be thankful. Thankful that she is so healthy now. Thankful that I do not even think of the HIV as even being an issue any more. Thankful that it IS my new "normal" and that my family is shocked when I return home and tell them that the nurse wouldn't treat her. And most of all, THANKFUL that this happened NOW, I learned from my mistake, and will NEVER make this same mistake when she is old enough to understand what happened in that office. She would have felt so rejected....but thankfully, I felt it on her behalf this time. Reality stared me in the face. Sadness filled my heart, and I couldn't help but to think that one day when we are in heaven, there will be no sickness. We will all just be happy to be in the presence of our sweet Savior. On Mother's Day, my heart longed to feel that presence. There will be no heartache and my little girl will be viewed from the world's eyes NO LONGER. Just our heavenly Father's eyes...who made her wonderfully and perfectly.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

psalm 139:13-18

you might need to go to my playlist (on the right) and hit the pause button so the music doesn't get mixed in with Josie's voice during the video

time away

2011-05-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

I always hesitate to blog if I have had the chance to get away. I typically get comments telling me that I live a "lavish" lifestyle or I could have spent the money that I spent on my time away on helping orphans...or a question asking me if I know what it feels like to "give til' it hurts." All of that said, I seem to always receive the most "AHA" moments when I am away because I sit quietly and pour out my heart to the Lord and he fills my cup, tablespoon, by table spoon. It is not until I sit quietly that I realize just how depleted that I am.

Mike's company sent us on a trip to Sea Island, Georgia. Over the years, it has grown to be my most favorite place on earth. It is QUIET, beautiful, smells of jasmine, and just dreamy. Mike laughs at me because I try to walk around with my eyes closed just soaking up the smell. I literally look around and whisper thanksgiving that HE would make our world such a beautiful place to live.

being thankful: check.

This year, I asked myself, is this place REALLY this extraordinary? or do I just TAKE the time to soak everything up when I am here?

A few weeks before we left for our trip I went to see a nutritionist. It was LONG overdue. I have been meaning to go for awhile now. I KNOW that Josie Love's diet is vital for her to be healthy, but quite honestly, since bringing her home, I've been doing well just to get everybody fed and her meds given. Not to mention, that Grace is now 15 years old, and she needs to know a HEALTHY way to eat so that she feels good. ( for that matter, each and every one of them need GOOD fuel for all of this extra crazy energy that they exude!)

She walked me through "good fats" vs. "bad fats", that we need to eat every three hours, and water, water, water...you get the idea. Just making myself aware of what our bodies need to feel good (mama was lacking some energy) and be healthy was fabulous. Now that it is in the forefront of my mind, I am encouraged and excited rather than feeling a little overwhelmed on what each person needs for their make up...it's all about having a "plan" hahha.

children's overall health: check.

Each morning, I got up, read my Jesus Calling, my bible, and took time to think about each one of my children. Their strengths, weaknesses, how I can pray for them, and what I specifically need to do for each one to make sure that I am reaching their heart and meeting their needs. While I KNOW how different they are, when I started doing this...I started feeling REALLY overwhelmed. they all have such different needs and wants. HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I DO ALL OF THIS!??!!

and then the whisper....."you're NOT..I AM!!" " I AM going to do it through you" is what I heard. I could have started crying.

Thankfully, HE has them. I am just here to make sure that their needs (laundry, food, sleep, etc..) is taken care of. HE HAS THEM. Whew!

once again, realizing that I AM NOT IN CONTROL: check. time alone with Christ: check.

Mike and I sat across from each other and talked, caught up on the past few months of sporadic conversations...actually finished them. I am SO thankful for him. He is such a gift.

time alone with my sweets: check.

And then, for my fortieth birthday present, my 3 best friends from high school came down!!! (I'm thinking I want to turn 40 next year also!!) Mike flew home, and I had 3 days with my girlfriends and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

relationships/laughter: check.

Easter weekend!

2011-04-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

We started the day with pedis and manis....a GIRL day, while Dad and the boys went to play basketball. We missed Grace, she went to Eagle Creek to hand out Easter baskets and share Christ with children that have never heard the name Jesus.

After a morning of fun, we headed to Nonnie and Poppie's for dinner and an egg hunt.....

the judges...making sure that there was no cheating...haha

after much searching..the golden egg was found!

I LOVE FAMILY!!

May God give you faith to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and particularly in the fact that God raised him from the dead. May you come to know that Jesus Christ is the only Savior and there is no other. May we all remember that Jesus is the Judge whom we will all face, because it is appointed to man once to die and then comes judgment. May God have mercy on us, that we will beg for mercy and pardon from him and be saved.

taking cover from the storm

2011-04-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

Whew! I am finally beginning to feel the cloud lift from over my head. Getting the "147 million orphans "spring line out was quite the task. We made a few changes in production, so as we took one step forward , we seemed to take three steps back. I am so thankful to have it all out and most of it on the site now....there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Our latest arrival is earrings from Uganda....I LOVE THEM!! I can't wait for you all to see them!!

The past few weeks have brought MANY storms and tornadoes to the Middle Tennessee area. Our children have been at school in lock down/tornado mode several times with the lights flickering on and off. One day, Gwen and I were trying to get some work done and as we were leaving an apointment, golf ball size hail came crashing down. We dashed into a parking garage, just in time for our phones to start ringing informing us that a tornado was blowing over head. S-C-A-R-Y!!

I was busy cooking dinner last week when Mike called and told me to take the kids to the basement. A tornado was headed our way (AGAIN!) So, I turned my veggies off and took off down the stairs....children in tow. I decided to take a video of our time spent in the basement. Thankfully, a few days before, we had picked up toys, so that they would have room to play.

As we sat underground, SAFE, I felt SO thankful. Thankful for my children. Thankful that the Lord had given me each and every one of them.....truly gifts. And thankful that I have a large family. Watching them play ball together made me think of the MANY people that have commented about how we have our own ball team. We ARE a team. Mike and I talk about our parenting being TEAMWORK on a regular basis. If I didn't have him as a team mate, I would surely be defeated. My children get "it". They understand that we all have to work together for this ship to sail.

Here is an example: In November, I went to a meeting with Joshua's teachers. They explained that there was some concern for Joshua to proceed to kindergarten next year. A few examples: He only knew 9 of his letters, could count to 19, and his name was barely legible. As I left the meeting, my mind swirled with the series of events that have surrounded Joshua the past year. Josie's homecoming, MANY visits to Vanderbilt, life with seven instead of six children, and the list goes on......NO WONDER THE POOR CHILD IS BEHIND....can someone say loco?!? It is a good thing that I submit each and every one of my children to the Lord each night. It is very comforting to know that HE cares about all of those details. He laid it out before me, so it would not go unnoticed any longer. HE loves my children so much more than I can fathom...HOW COMFORTING!

I called MillerAnne and Annabelle into the kitchen and explained what was going on with Joshua at school. I asked them if they would help me catch him up. We talked about how demanding that Josie is for me right now. I explained that when they are playing "school" they could actually teach him! I showed them the areas that he was behind. They took it to heart!! Sisters ON A MISSION! Yesterday, I went to my mailbox and there was a packet. It showed Joshua's progress since last Oct/Nov. He now knows ALL of his letters(lower and upper case), he can count to 100, knows ALL of his colors, shapes, and everything else!! His name is clearly written, and now they are teaching him how to write it in cursive!! He is totally caught up! They get "it!" They have owned their role as big sisters. AND they take responsibility for their family. I LOVE IT!!

I am so thankful for that little piece of fruit that the Lord gave me. We often are so busy pruning, planting, and maintaining our children, that we do not take time to enjoy the fruit. It is the sweetest fruit to ever touch your mouth.

There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

2011-04-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Listen to the words of this song while you read....I make reference to it later in this post....

I have been trying to read Jesus Calling all morning. It is 1pm, just got the kids down for naps and have finally picked it up. Sarah Young very quickly reminded me how trusting HIM is a moment by moment choice. Whenever we see Him move in a mighty way, we trust HIM intensely- but only temporarily . Soon the grumbling begins again. When things go wrong, our trust flow slows down or solidifies. Then we are forced at the fork in the road to stay on the path of life with HIM, or change our path.

Trusting HIM when Josie was so ill was SO easy because I had NOTHING else to cling to. Now that she is full of energy and into EVERYTHING, I grumble, grumble, grumble. I am tired! I am sick of battling with preschoolers, I do not like waking up at 5am to little fingers poking my arm, just to open my eyes and be nose to nose with someone that wants breakfast RIGHT NOW......GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE.

And then I look ahead, try to see the "big picture." My oldest (Grace) posted "Born to be somebody" as her status the other night on Facebook. I googled the song by Justin Bieber and it made my heart smile. The normal person, would listen to that song and think about making it big in the world....becoming famous. For Grace it means that there is a part of her that no one really "knows" or understands because half of her heart is in Africa and she can't really be all the God has made her to be until she is serving in that capacity. SO worth the preschool battles and nose to nose mornings! I just have to keep praying that the Lord will use these little ones for HIS glory and that I do not kill them before their time comes to serve..hahaha. In the meantime, I am going to be grateful that God has pierced Graces heart for the things that are the MOST important to HIM. I am going to keep praying that the Lord continues to draw her close to his heart and that during this time, HE will mold her into the perfect wife for someone special and that she will continue to long for the desires of HIS heart and not what our world tells her is the right "social" thing to do.

He tells us over and over that if we will follow HIM, that we will see the fruits from abiding in HIM. When I look into the face of my oldest, it gives me hope and keeps me focused on the next six that are following her. While they are all wonderfully and UNIQUELY made, He has a specific DIFFERENT plan for each and every one of them and I cannot wait to see what it is!

I just hope I am alive to see it and I haven't collapsed from exhaustion!

My head is empty...

2011-04-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for something "special" to happen to share with you guys and it just hasn't happened! I could give you a run through of one of my days and it would be entertaining. I could empty out my thoughts and you'd be really confused...

I think I have had such a bad case of spring fever that now that I am slowly watching it appear, I am almost in disbelief. I took my 5 youngest out for ice cream the other day...that makes me smile. I laid out a blanket today and had a picnic in my front yard with my three littles today for lunch...that makes me smile. I also laid out some meat to grill for dinner..that makes me smile. We have a free night tonight...everybody will be home for dinner...that makes me smile. AND I have planned a dinner and a movie for me and my sweets for Saturday night....that REALLY makes me smile.

It's the little things....with the people that I love the most that make me happy. I am going to be thankful today rather than be defeated:0)

2011-03-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

As I write this, my heart aches. Stopping to remember my sister-in-law is such a bittersweet thing. Many of you have asked how my brother is doing since my sister-in-law passed away. He and his children are doing well. They have many changes coming around the bend....one leaving for college, one headed to Washington to work for the summer, and the two youngest still at home with Dad. Through Lane Anne's suffering, my brother blogged about living life...through the hard times and the sweet moments that our sweet Savior gave each of them to remember. Tim and Lane Ann were the most significant model of walking by faith that I have ever had in my life. I have to say that if they had not gone before me, and I had not watched FIRST hand how Christ provided for them OVER and OVER and OVER again...I might not have EVER stepped out into the adoption world. Their love and faith is a PURE example of faith.

As Tim blogged, a love story unfolded before our very eyes. Every time I would sit down to read, I would pull out the tissues......it was BEAUTIFUL. SO, after many people telling him that they would LOVE to have it in print....your wish has come true!!

The Essence of Grace

This is a love story that chronicles the love between a man and woman until "death do them part." It started as a simple blog aimed at correspondence between family and friends. Whether the spiritual transparency depicted in these journals, spiritual truths contained herein, or unguarded honesty attracted others is hard to ascertain. One thing is certain. As this story was shared from one person to the next, those reading this courageous display of love amidst human suffering spread into the thousands. If you or someone you love is suffering from disease, death, marital problems or stuck in the throes of grief, this book is sure to challenge, inspire, and strengthen all those who read it.

You can purchase a copy on his ministry's website...disciplethenations.com. We all have suffered loss at some time in our lives. This book will give you HOPE.

Calling all prayer warriors!

2011-03-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

My friends, Tesney and Greg Davis are trying to adopt a little boy from Russia who has Downs Syndrome. His name is Kirill. The judge said no, that he would be better off in an institution for the rest of his life b/c of his "medical condition". She called him socially unadaptable. Is satan at work or what?!?!

As we all know, special needs children are typically not cared for in orphanages. The caretakers do well to take care of the "normal" children. You throw an extra "need" to be cared for at them and they feel overwhelmed. These children ARE the FORGOTTEN ones. IF they can get the chance to receive love and the medical care that is needed, they will flourish...satan knows this.

Here is the link to her blog which tells their story. They are appealing the decision, but things do not look good. They are asking for everyone to spread the word (especially to politicians, celebrities, news media, etc... anyone that can help get the word out so that the judge will be pressured to reverse this decision.)

Most of all PLEASE PRAY for this PRECIOUS little boy and the children like him who await their court dates, facing the same judge.

Our Eyes Opened

www.oureyesopened.blogspot.com

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act." Prov. 24:12

NEW SPRING GEAR!!!!

2011-03-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

147 MILLION ORPHANS

JUST IN TIME for EASTER!!! Gwen and I are so excited about our new Spring line!! We have some of the most fabulous colored baseball tees to give you the little "pick me up" from the doom and gloom of winter! We have two new bags, hats, Nike athletic gear, golf shirts, and much more coming over the next few weeks!! Here are just a few to get you excited!! purchase a shirt, feed a child, and give it as a gift for EASTER!!

Also, look how fun these red beads are that katie is rockin'...the Karomojong women have stepped out of their comfort zones and trying something different! Look how cute they are!

147millionorphans.com

Also, visit 147millionorphans.org and se our new foundation that we have set up!!

more pics from our trip

2011-03-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

Sarah, Jane and I...If my little sister MillerAnne could have a twin in Uganda..it would be Jane! They are JUST alike! We laughed all week at the similarities of the two of them....
Yall have probably heard my mom talk about Kristene...she is beautiful on the inside AND out and is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet...Not to mention she cared for Josie (along side Katie) when we had to leave her in Uganda, because of her tuberculosis...she is an angel on earth!

Dad's rockin' the Mocha Club shirt...I LOVE their motto/trademark ("I need Africa more than Africa needs me")...

Annabelle and Jane....precious! Annabelle didnt want to leave when it was time to come home...

Since bringing Josie Love home, our family has broken hearts for the children in Africa with HIV. These pics are from a childrens home called "Our Own Home" that cares for HIV children. This little one (Moses) is one of our "all time favorites", he's so precious.

One of my favorite things that we do while we're these is help feed the Amazima kids... for most, it is their only meal of the day and the delight in their eyes and the smiles on their faces just warm my heart. Each child wears their "Sunday's best" to worship day and most of the clothes are torn, dirty, and worn out...it really is an eye opening moment. These children have NOTHING...barely even clothes on their bodies, and yet they laugh, smile, and have more joy than most everyone I see each and every day. I know that these children bring Christ so much joy as their voices echo through the fields of Jinja singing and praising HIM.

more to come later....

pics from our trip

2011-03-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

Our boat ride on Lake Victoria was a lot of fun...the breeze felt AMAZING, and it was a relaxing time that was much needed.

Sarah Crane (in the red-sleeved 147 million orphans shirt) helped my mom and Gwen with 147. She has such a servant's heart and love for orphans that she has committed the next year of her life to serving in Uganda. It was so neat to see her at Amani the day that we visited....LOVE her.

On the day that we went into the Massese village to purchase beads for 147 Million Orphans, there were several people who needed medical attention, so Katie put on her gloves and went to work. This little angel had pneumonia and was having trouble breathing. There were several children that had such bad ear infections when Katie would swab their ears, big clumps of grey/green mucus stuff would come out on the q-tip she was using.

Some company/factory dumps their ashes all around this village, and this man happened to step in them while they were still hot...it hurt me just looking at the poor guy...

For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God. Hebrews 3:4

Here are a few pictures of us building Agnes's brothers home. I was bound and determined to carry those big jugs of water down the hill to mix the cement....to think that 3 and 4 year olds carry them for miles is unimaginable to me (by the time that I reached the top of the hill I was gasping for air and woke up sore the next day!)

Much more to come the next few days.... :-)

The past few days...

2011-03-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not keeping y’all updated the past few days, we moved to a hotel that doesn’t have Internet unless you are in the shop, which closes at 10…

Today is our last day…in the past few days, we’ve definitely stayed busy. We’ve been to the shops in Jinja several times, helped rebuild Agnes’s brothers house, visited the Karamajongs and bought more beads for 147, had Bible study with people from the community, visited Amani Baby Cottage and Our Own Home, gone on a boat ride (all 20-something of us), and spend A LOT of time at Katie’s with her girls.

Building Agnes’s brother’s house was hard, but rewarding. We separated and stacked bricks, made cement, fetched water from the well (I’m still sore from carrying those jerry cans…I can’t imagine having to carry them for miles…), and Mallory Prossy and I made PB sandwhiches for all 30ish of us. It was a good day, and I think we all felt pretty accomplished by the end of it.

Spending time with the Karamajong women in Masesse was awesome as well. We met the women who make the beads, held their kids, talked to children from the village, and had a prayer request/praise time with the women where they were able to share and have Katie and our crew pray for them.

What was really weird was going back to Amani. There are 8 kids (soon to be 9!) that live in Nashville that have been adopted from Amani, and I hadn’t been there in 2 years. The last time I was there was when I met Josie…it was so strange to think that if we hadn’t adopted her, she would still be sitting there in that yard, probably much sicker than she was when we first saw her. I can’t imagine not having her at our house, running/waddling around screaming and singing and laughing.

Last night we went on a boat ride on Lake Victoria. We split into 2 boats: Dad, Katie, Patricia, Mallory, William, Prossy, Agnes, Margaret, Lochoro, and I on one, and Michael, Annabelle, Joyce, Sarah, Sumini, Zuula, Helen, Scovia, Grace, Jane, Tibita, and Mary in the other…it was so fun. We were able to relax and fellowship with each other, and just enjoy the beauty of the lake. We saw monkeys and a (huge) lizard, and lots of other interesting animals, as well as the “source of the nile”. I think it’s safe to say that we all had a ton of fun.

Today is our last day here, and I don’t think any of us are looking forward to saying goodbye. We had to say goodbye to Katie, Grace, and Tibita last night because they had to go to Kampala early this morning so we won’t be seeing them, and it was HARD. Tibita cried, which caused us to cry…and that was only saying bye to 2 of 14. Today will be rough, but I’m lucky enough that I get to come back in June with my mom and Gwen, so I can say that I will see them soon.

Michael is going to post his thoughts on the trip when we get home, so that should be up in a couple of days...our flight flies out of Entebbe at 8 tonight (about noon Nashville time), so we should be home tomorrow night. I’ve had an amazing time and can honestly say I feel at home here. I can’t wait to be back again (hopefully for longer next time J).

Grace

PS-I tried to upload pictures, but (like I said), the Internet is not cooperative. So I'll upload when we get home!

A different perspective...

2011-03-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

*This is Grace, really quick. Annabelle is going to blog about what she's thought of the trip so far because 1-I'm sure it will be awesome for yall to hear things from a 3rd grader's perspective, and 2-I'm too tired. Hahaha, I will update tomorrow and try to sum up today/whatever happens tomorrow, and post pics.....enjoy!*

THIS IS AN AWESOME TRIP!!!!!! But I also miss my family and friends, especially my best friend Emma. I love playing with all those children. Today we went to visit 2 orphanages: Amani and Our Own Home. My favorite part of the da

y was visiting all those children!!!

We'll keep yall posted. Same thing that Grace said....

.enjoy!

Love,

Annabelle

2011-03-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

We had a FABULOUS day today!

We started off with going to Jinja to do a little shopping and had birthday lunch at the Source Cafe (if you're ever in Uganda, their banana bread is the BEST...can't beat it). Going shopping (if you can call it that) in Jinja is always fun...you get to bargain with the people and experience alot of the culture here. My favorite part is picking out things for my friends and family..its always comforting to bring a little bit of Africa back to Brentwood. :)

Anyways, after we left the market we headed back to Katie's and hung out. AND we had 2 guests join us...JANE and her mommy! (Some of you may not know her story, but it was awesome to see her precious face again!)

Alot of times while we're with all of those kids though, it's easy to get caught up in playing with/occupying the little ones and forget that the older ones need some quality time too...so this morning, Mallory, Prossy (15), Margaret (12), Agnes (12), and I all got to hang out and talk...we had so much fun! The girls locked their door and we sat in their room, laughed, ate dum dums, and talked for a good while.

I've specifically loved talking to Prossy though. She is SO sweet and full of joy, you can't help but to love her...she and her sisters have been making magazine necklaces (like the ones 147 sells) and selling them to people locally.

Yesterday, Prossy walked up and gave me one that was all purple (and beautiful). Sweet girl had made it for me before we came, and coordinated it so that it would match our uniforms and school colors...she's so thoughtful and is the kind of girl that I could easily be best friends with.

After we spent some time at Katie's, we all piled in the van and headed to a pool at a hotel nearby to celebrate my birthday! And it was SO much fun. We swam, played soccer, ate chicken and chips, and some cake! (Thanks to Katie for baking it, it was delicious :))

Dad even taught Jane's mom how to swim (which was HILARIOUS)...

I could not have asked for a better birthday! I was able to spend it in my favorite place, with lots of people I love.

Here are some pics....

Mallory and Sumini

Dad and Janie's momma

Uncle Scott and Prossy

Dad and Sarah

Michael, Annabelle and Gray playing soccer with the girls...

I'd like to end with a few words from my Jesus Calling from today....it says:

"It is through spending time with me that you realize how wide and long and deep is my love for you...In a world characterized by working and taking, the admonition to rest and receive seems too easy...But, as you trust Me more and more, you are able to receive Me and My blessings abundantly. Be still, and know that I am God."

As I read this, I think about how easy it is to get caught up in the busyness of what's going on around me...especially living in a place like Brentwood where alot of times your respect/worth is based on how "successful" you are, and people are always trying to work their way to the top.

And I think that's a major reason as to why I LOVE being here. People are not judged on how nice their clothes are, or how many cars they own, or how big their house is. There's not a "ladder of success" that they over-consume themselves with. And they don't HAVE material possessions to get caught up in. They learn that the only way to live is to live with Christ daily.

I've seen this in the children especially...kids who walk around in torn up, dirty clothes or no clothes at all, and live in huts and run-down houses made of dried clay and dirt. Amazima worship day is one of my favorites because you can look and see hundreds of little faces singing how awesome Jesus is, and know that they really do mean what they are singing. They have learned to trust and love God, and understand that His love for them is unfathomable. And when I think about my life in Brentwood and compare it to the time I spend here, I can see that is so much easier to focus on Jesus when there are no material distractions.

SO, I'm holding myself accountable that when I go back to Brentwood, I won't fall into the routine of what's comfortable and get caught up in the busyness of life. and that I'll remember that God has a purpose for me here on earth, and nothing else matters as long as I fulfill what's in HIS plan. I will be still, and know that He's God.

More to come later...

Grace

Matthew 6:19

2011-03-13T12:41:00.001-07:00

Matthew 6:19: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

A few pics to start off.......

Agnes says dad "is her BEST friend"...so sweet
Amazima worship day...reppin' the 147
Annabelle and one of the babies at Renee's orphanage...

Dinner time!

Now for the update...

We have officially completed days 1 and 2 here in Uganda!

I tried to blog last night, but my computer died and it didn’t save, so this will account for our experience so far.

Yesterday, we woke up early and traveled to Jinja, where Katie picked us up and took us to the AMazima worship day. We played, rolled around, got VERY dirty, and Mal and I helped serve lunch. (Preparing 300 bowls of beans/rice/chicken will wear ya out!) It was a great day, and we got to reunite with Katie and her girls…but the jet-lag definitely took its toll. By the end of the day, we were all dirty, bean-covered, and ready to hit the hay!

Today has been packed, so I’ll just give y’all a play by play of our day…

This morning, we woke up and walked to Katie’s, then all 25 of us piled in the van and headed to church. Church went well, it was different from our church in the US obviously, but was definitely a good experience and something I’ll remember.

After church, we headed back to Katie’s, and spent some time with her girls.

Since we have been here, one LITTLE one has specifically stolen my heart.

This is Lochoro. She is 4 years old, cannot talk or walk, weighs a little less than 15 pounds, and is extremely sick. Although she is not one of Katie’s girls, (she lives with her uncle, who leaves her at home alone while he goes to work during the day), she is living with Katie while she tries to get better. When I first saw her, my first reaction was “there is NO way this little bitty is 4 years old”...in my mind, a 4 year old is Caleb’s size (for those of you who know Caleb, he is a BIG dude), and he actually only three. The concept of not being fed for 3 years and starving to this extent of malnutrition is a little bit difficult for my brain to grasp. Especially a child this sweet! I’ve loved bonding and spending time with little Lochoro over the past two days.

Funny story from tonight…she was sitting in my lap eating a “sweetie” (a sucker). I looked up to see Katie’s jaw drop, and hear her say “DO. NOT. MOVE.” ….Because of the IV’s and meds Lochoro’s on, she pooped EVERYWHERE (including in my lap, and if you’ve ever had a child on that kind of medication, you’ll know that their poop is NASTY). So, Katie, dad, Mal and I cleaned up, and I bathed her and got a new diaper for her while Katie made dinner. One of the girls was playing with one of the cameras and just happened to take this picture right after she pooped and Katie moved her from my lap to the floor…hahaha.

One of the highlights of my day today was seeing Abigail Haynes! Baby girl is BEAUTIFUL, pictures do not do her justice. I loved getting to kiss all over her cheeks, love on her, and feed her. What made me happiest was that I was able to look into her big brown eyes and tell her that she has a mommy and a daddy coming to get her soon. And she has a sister who loves her, and happens to be my best friend. I showed her pictures on my phone, and she just grinned and grinned. Here are some pics…

Probably the funniest part of today was seeing the boys get their hair done. Katie’s girls had an absolute BALL braiding and twisting yarn into their hair. And they surprisingly kept it in all night…

I’ll try to post again tomorrow night, we are headed to Jinja in the morning to shop a little bit, visiting Amani and another orphanage, then all 25+ of us are celebrating my birthday with cake at a pool near here. I can’t wait! More to come later….

Grace

PS-I put all of our pictures on facebook, just an FYI for those of you who I'm friends with!

We made it!

2011-03-11T11:44:00.000-08:00

Well, we made it safely! We are checked into our hotel for the night and will be heading over to Katie's early in the morning for feeding program....

I forgot how much I missed this place! The people and their accents, the heat, the smell (it can be gross sometimes, but its part of what makes Uganda Uganda), the mosquito nets...EVERYTHING. I'm so glad to be back.

The airplane flights (and food), however, were not missed. We took a 2 hour flight from Nashville to D.C., then had a short layover and boarded the plane to Belgium...unfortunately, as soon as we boarded the flight, it lightninged so we sat in the runway for 2 hours

before we were finally able to take off. But hey, we're here now and that's all that matters...

Obviously, we haven't been taking pictures because we've been flying the past 24 hours, but I did snag a few on my phone...

Air plane food....I think this was mac n' cheese and tofu chicken...?

Landing in D.C....

Trying to pass time.... :-)

More to come as the week goes on! I'll try to post every night.

Mom, give the little ones love from dad, Michael, and Annabelle and I! Hope your conference goes well, love and miss you all.

-Grace

Sending half of my heart to the other side of the world

2011-03-10T04:50:00.000-08:00

We spent our last night together celebrating Grace's 15th birthday. This will be the second time that she has spent her "special day" in the country that she LOVES with her WHOLE heart. AFRICA! Mike is taking our three oldest (Grace, Michael, and Annabelle) to Uganda today. The past several days have been spent packing and accepting all of the gifts to take overseas. My family CANNOT wait to see Katie and her kids....while I am GREEN with envy, I will stay home and hold down the fort here in the US. (because guess who gets to go see Katie in June? MAMA does!! Gwen and I will be going over to just hang out for some "girl time"..woohoo!!!! more details to come)

SO, I will be passing the torch the next week so that my family can blog while in Uganda. Primarily, to keep ME updated on what each day holds...but I'll let you guys join in on all of the fun!

stay tuned!!

til' they are all fed,

Suzanne